What Really Happened as a Result of Sugar
by Sailorstar165
Summary: What my friend and I really think happened in Kingdom Hearts after she played it for the first time. We had a little too much sugar in the writing of it. Yay chocolate! Teen for safety b/c of Donald's issues, mostly
1. Sora's Awakening

Chapter 1: Sora's Awakening 

This is based off of the random things my friend Andrea and I said when we had a little too much sugar. Anywho, this is a complete poke fun of at the game. My friend asked me to work on this with her, so we're just picking on the game. BTW, ((anything like this means it's my author's note)) and **((anything bolded in parenthesis like this means it's Andrea's note))

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**

Sora was falling through the water. Simple and Clean was playing in the background, but this time it was by a guy. A girl's voice shouted, "Ryo! Are you singing again?"

"No, Andrea! Midget man, are you singing?" called another voice.

"Yes..." he said slowly. "I'll stop." **((Midget is based off my brother, Andy, who will appear and be annoyed.))**

The rest ran with Utada Hikaru singing the song, but now Sora didn't hear it. He was falling through the water again, and he couldn't help but think, _'Ah! I'm gonna drown! Wait, I can breathe! Hey, how the crap does that work? Hmm... Do I have gills? No, I don't. Then how am I breathing?' _He sat up as he fell in The Thinker position. **((One word, WTF? You're not supposed to be thinking while you fall! Dumb ass!))**

He landed on the thing and the birds flew around him. "Crap! Don't shit on me!" he shouted, covering his head with his arms as if to protect himself from a bomb. When the birds were gone, he looked down. "Who are the dorks on the panel, and why are there cute fuzzy animals on it?"

"So much to do..." said a voice.

"Ah! It's the voices again! I thought my therapist got rid of them!" Sora screamed like a little girl.

"Ahem! I am not a voice in your head. Now... So much to do, so little time. Take your time. The door is still shut. Now, step forward. Can you do it?"

Sora stared around. "What? Why should I listen to you?"

The voice was exasperated. "I don't know... Because I'm a random disembodied voice?" ((YEAH TO DISEMBODIED VOICES!))

Sora shrugged and followed the voice's instruction.

"Power sleeps within you. If you give it form, it will give you strength. Choose well."

"Why do I have to choose?" Sora asked the sky, but there wasn't any response. He jumped for the shiny sword because it was shiny-ish.

"The power of the Warrior. Invincible courage. A sword of terrible destruction. Is this the path you choose?"

"Does it include lots of shiny stuff?" Sora inquired. **((You idiot, Sora... I don't even know why I'm here...))**

"Er... Yeah, kid. Your path is set. Now, what will you give up in return?"

Sora ran for the wand because he was afraid of staffs with big mice heads on them. "Get rid of this thing!"

"Um... 'The power of the Mystic. Inner Strength. A staff of wonder and ruin.' Do you give up this power?"

Sora nodded, and the stained glass underneath him broke apart. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" he shouted as he fell. He landed on the Cinderella stained glass. _'Did she have a fight with a toilet and it won?'_ he thought to himself, staring at the woman's brown hair. ((Am I the only one who noticed that glitch?)) **((No, I did too. Before you even landed on your foot, Sora, I came up with that, so HA!))**

"You have gained the power to fight," said the voice as the sword appeared in Sora's hand. When he swung it, the voice shouted, "That's it! You got it! Use this power to protect yourself and others." Shadows appeared. "There are times when you'll have to fight. Keep your light burning strong."

Sora managed to fight the tiny little bug-things without much trouble. When it was done, he had to kill the ones behind him. Now he sunk into the darkness. "Wait! I can't swim!" Sora screeched as he sank into it. When he fought away the darkness, he was at the see-through door. _'I can't open it...'_ he thought. "Voice! Make the door open or I'll destroy everything!"

The voice sighed and dropped a potion. "That's a potion. Use it when you get badly injured." The door opened. "Keep hands and feet inside the door at all times." ((My idea!))

Sora noticed his friends, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka. "Selphie!" he said happily.

"What's most important to you?" she asked.

"Huh? My friends, of course!" Sora said.

"Is friendship really that important?" Selphie asked, but when pressed for what was going on, she didn't say anymore.

"What're you so afraid of?" Tidus asked stupidly.

"I'm afraid of being different. Why would you care though?" Sora muttered.

"Is being different really so scary?" Tidus wondered allowed.

"What do you want outta life?" inquired Wakka in his terrible accent.

"To see rare sights," Sora answered, giving up on actually getting a response.

"See rare sights, huh?" Wakka laughed.

"You want friendship. You're afraid of being different. You want to see rare sights. Your journey begins at Midday. Keep a steady pace, and you'll come out just fine. The day you open the door is both far off and very near."

Sora was now on the stained glass of Sleeping Beauty. He fought some more Heartless and ran up the path. He was up on top and approached the light in the center.

"The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes," said the voice.

Turning, Sora saw his shadow coming to life. He screamed and ran for the path, but it was gone. He spun around to face the huge Darkside. **((Ha ha, you're gonna die now!))**

"But don't be afraid," said the voice shakily. "And don't forget..."

"What's that mean? Finish your sentences!" Sora bellowed, but to no effect. He sliced at the Darkside's hand, until it roared, knocking him back. Sora's sword disappeared, and he evaded the blow, falling on his ass. **((You clutz!))**

"—But don't be afraid, you hold the mightiest weapon off all," said the voice as the monster swallowed Sora up. As he flipped over to crawl away in an attempt to escape, the voice said, "And don't forget—" Sora was almost engulfed in the darkness "—you are the one who will open the door."

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That's it for this chapter! We had too much sugar and Andrea started making comments, so I couldn't help but write down what we were saying and make up this chapter. And now, a word from Andrea, the starter of this fic:

**YES! I am a co-creator of a fic! Hi! Um... Do I need to say more?**

Yes you do.

**Ok! My friends call me Bob for short!**

Now that's something I didn't know about her... Anywho:

Sailorstar165: writer

Andrea: concept designer.

That should just about do it. Now, until Andrea comes over my house to play more Kingdom Hearts, bye!

**BYE!**


	2. Destiny Islands Day 1

Chapter 2: Destiny Islands Part 1

Hi everyone! To everyone, my co-author, Andrea, has NOT finished with the reviews, and I doubt she will so—

**HEY!**

Shut up Andrea. Anywho, she won't be responding to any that interest her, so don't expect one. I'm sorry I said she would because it seems we're more strapped for time then I thought...

**I GOT YOUR GRUNTY, RYO! AGAIN!**

GIVE THAT BACK! Er... Here's the fic while I try to get back my Grunty Plushie...

* * *

Sora opened his eyes, thinking weakly to himself, _'Dammit, I had a hangover again... Wait! I didn't drink last night!'_ **((Sora's drunk in the beginning, I swear it!))** Then, Sora heard the comment just before now. _'WHERE'D THAT COME FROM!'_ He shrugged. He lay back on the sand, only to be startled by his redheaded friend, Kairi.

"Sora, you lazy bum! I knew I'd find you snoozing down here!" she laughed, her blue eyes twinkling.

"No! This huge black... **_THING_** swallowed me up! I couldn't breath, I couldn't— OW!" he cried when Kairi hit him in the head.

"Are you still dreaming?" Kairi asked.

"It wasn't a dream!" Sora shouted, but then stopped himself. He looked down at the sand. "Or was it...? I dunno... What was that place...? So bizarre..." **((WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO HER! IT WASN'T A DREAM YOU MORON!))**

"Yeah sure," Kairi started walking away.

"Say, Kairi, what was your hometown like? You know, where you grew up?"

"I've told you before, I don't remember!" Kairi giggled.

"Nothing at all?"

"Nothing!"

"Do you ever wanna go back?" Sora asked, facing Kairi on his bum.

"Hmm... Well, I'm happy here," Kairi said simply.

"Really?" Sora said, doubting what she said.

"NO DUH!" She kicked a seashell at him. It just happened to be one of those spirally spikey ones.

Sora was knocked backward, but sat up again. "I'd like to see it, you know. Along with any other worlds out there. I wanna see 'em all!" Sora pulled the shell out of his shoe, which was so big, it blocked the blow.

Before Kairi could respond, Riku walked up with that big log. ((RIKU I LOVE YOU!)) **((Shut up Ryo!))** "Hey, aren't you forgetting about me?" ((I'M NOT!)) **((He's not talking to you, dork.))** ((I'm a nerd. There's a difference. I'll explain what I mean later.)) He tossed the log to Sora.

Because Sora is weak and without Bishonen muscles, he was crushed under the weight, much to the amusement of Kairi. "And you're just as lazy as he is," Riku commented.

"Hee hee, so you noticed!" Kairi giggled. "Ok! We'll finish it together! I'll race you!"

Sora stared at her. "What? Are you crazy? Not only was I crushed by a log, but Riku's car is in the shop since it was stolen, and I don't have a racecar!" ((If you're wondering about Riku's car, read Hurkydoesntknow's fic, Dude, Where's Riku's Car.)) **((YAY BLATANT ADVERTISING!))**

"No stupid! She's talking about running!" Riku threw a seashell, yet the same one that Kairi had kick, at Sora. It seems there was a hermit crab in the shell, and it clamped onto Sora's nose.

Kairi almost collapsed in fits of laughter, but all the same, yelled, "Ready? GO!"

Riku glanced at Sora and his friend, now nicknamed Mr. Hermit Crab, and jumped up. They both started running as fast as possible toward the... place you start from... **((Wow! Ryo doesn't know what it's called!)) **((I may be a KH genius, but I don't know what I should call it besides a wall with a door in it, which is too long.))

Once the race was over, and they managed to get Mr. Hermit Crab to decide dangling from Sora's nose was no fun **((except for the people who write this!))**, Sora walked up to Kairi.

"Ok! Today we're working on the raft!" Kairi said excitedly. She stopped and stared into Sora's eyes. "Sora, are you listening to me?"

Sora snapped out of the trance and said, "Huh? What was that? I wasn't listening."

Kairi clobbered Sora by blowing into a bison-shaped whistle. Sora didn't understand at first, since it didn't make a noise, but got the gist of the situation when a giant flying bison landed on him.

"So that's where Aang dropped the whistle!" a boy with his entire head shaved except for a strip that was tied into a ponytail said.

"Thank you, Miss!" a 12 year-old boy with a blue arrow tattooed on his head said, happily.

"Let's go before Zuko finds us!" a girl with long black hair in a braid said. ((If you don't understand the reference, it's from Avatar: The Last Air Bender)) **((Do you HAVE to tell them where everyone's from?))**

"Now, Sora, you need to get: two logs, one rope, and one cloth. Bring everything back here, got it?"

Sora was picking his nose at that moment. "Huh? I wasn't listening again..."

Kairi pushed him away. "GET THE DAMN STUFF!"

* * *

After Sora gathered the different materials, ((HA HA! I'm not telling you where they are!)) **((She wouldn't tell me either, so don't worry about it.)) **he wandered toward the Paupu tree and challenged Riku. He got his ass handed back to him. _'And he wonders why I'll never fight him...'_ Sora thought. He handed all of the things to Kairi, who gave him a Hi Potion without a word.

They all sat on the Paupu Tree and stared out at the sunset. "So... Kairi's home is out there somewhere, right?" Sora asked.

"Could be, but we won't know by sitting around here," Riku answered

"But how far could a raft take us?" Sora said, tentatively. Riku was right about most things, but this, he wasn't quite sure.

"Who knows. If we need to, we'll think of something else," Riku said simply.

"So, suppose you get to another world," Kairi said with a laugh, "what would you do there?"

Riku pondered for a moment. "Well, I haven't really thought about it. I guess I just wonder why we're here, on this island. If there are other worlds out there... why did we end up on this one?"

"I don't know," Sora said, lying on his back.

"Exactly! That's why we have to go out there and find out," Riku uncrossed his arms. "Suppose there are other worlds out there... Then this island is just a piece of something much greater. It's just the same old stuff, so let's go."

"You've been thinking a lot lately, haven't you...?" Kairi asked.

"Thanks to you. If you hadn't come here, I probably never would have thought of any of this. Kairi, thanks," Riku said, gently.

Sora glared at him. He was hitting on **_HIS_** girlfriend! Well, sort of girlfriend. He hadn't asked her out yet...

As they started walking away, Riku called over to Sora. Sora turned and caught a star shaped fruit. "A Paupu Fruit..." Sora muttered.

"You wanted one, didn't you?" Riku laughed. "They say that if two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives, no matter what. Come on! I know you want to try it!"

"What are you talking about—" Sora asked, but cut himself off. _'Is Riku gay?'_ he wondered to himself. He threw the Paupu into the water, and ran after Riku and Kairi.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Disney Castle..._

Donald was walking down the hallway, passing broomstick after broomstick, thinking about his lovely Daisy. **((YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!))** He walked to the purple doors that were fifty times bigger than any door that existed. "Ahem!" He knocked on different parts of the door, until a miniature camouflaged one opened. **((Why do you need such a big door?)) **((Who knows...?)) Ambling down the lengthy hallways, he bowed. "Good morning, Your Majesty! It's a pleasure to see you this—WHAT!" shouted the surprised court wizard, seeing the empty thrown.

Pluto clambered out from his hiding place behind the chair with a note in his mouth. Donald instantly recognized the insignia and snatched it away. He quickly skimmed the message, and screeched like there was no tomorrow. Running around the halls, he desperately searched for someone—anyone—to tell about the horror that had just occurred. Then it hit him: Goofy! That moron wouldn't tell a soul, he was so retarded.

Donald ran into the garden, and found the knight in his usual place. "Goofy! We have a problem! But don't tell **_ANYONE!_**"

"Minnie?" Goofy asked stupidly.

"Not even the queen!"

"Daisy?"

"NO! It's **_TOP SECRET!_**"

Goofy looked past the panicking duck. "Oh, g'mornin' ladies!"

"What?" Donald turned to face the women of the palace, both patiently waiting for an explanation. "Uh... Nothing's going on ladies!"

"You didn't sneak into our rooms and go through our under clothing again..." Daisy said, accusingly.

"NO! Of course not! Uh... Nothing's wrong, like I said."

Daisy looked at Minnie, who nodded. "All right then... Brooms! Get Donald into the library so we can interrogate him properly."

"NOO!" Donald screamed. Daisy's way of interrogating was terribly horrible. She made him watch Barney until he admitted what he had done to cause such a ruckus.

_**TBC**_

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That's it for this chappy!

**I laugh at Donald's stupidity.**

Anywho, like I said before, I only can update when my co-writer is around. I'll update next time she's over!

**Wait! You have to explain the geek/dork/nerd thing!**

Oh yeah! By my definitions:

Geek—extremely smart person

Dork—Person who's obsessed beyond belief with something

Nerd—Person who is both a geek and dork.

**OMAKE THEATER TIME!**

Yes, we have come up with some scenes making fun of the make-fun-of scenes here. Now to do them...

**I won't interrupt for once. Ryo's tied me to a chair so I can't reach the computer. If you were wondering, she's typing this for me. We will poke at all of the scenes we've done, both first and current chapter.

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**

Omake Theater 1 mostly written by Andrea

**Your Future Waits...**

Sora noticed his friends, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka. "Selphie!" he said happily.

"What's most important to you?" she asked.

"You know what I want? I WANNA COOKIE!" Sora said.

"THERE AREN'T ANY FUCKING COOKIES!" Selphie shouted

"What're you so afraid of?" Tidus asked stupidly.

"I'm afraid of wetting my pants like when I was 8!" Sora muttered.

"Er... You wet your pants when you were 8...?" Tidus wondered allowed.

"What do you want outta life?" inquired Wakka in his terrible accent.

"EVEN MORE COOKIES!" Sora answered.

"Eh... I could go for a cookie too," Wakka laughed.

"Ok... Your journey begins at midday. Keep a steady pace and you'll do just fine."

"AHH! SCARY STALKER! YOU JUST WANTED TO KNOW HOW TO GET ME ALONE, DIDN'T YOU!"

* * *

Omake Theater 2

**You're Late**

"Sora, are you listening to me!" Kairi screamed for the 25th time.

"Huh? What? Were you talking?"

Kairi got so mad, she blew into a bison shaped whistle.

Sora looked around, and said, "Hey, where's the bison we hired?"

Kairi shrugged. "I don't know. Let's get some cookies while we wait." She pulled a box of Oreos from out of nowhere.

"OREOS!" Sora ran over to her, but finally the bison flew into him.

"Sorry we're late!" Aang called. "Ooo! Cookies! Appa! Have a snack!"

The flying bison ate the cookies in one slurp.

"Do we have to do that again...?" Sora asked, his voice muffled because of being under Appa.

"Yes, they were late!" called the author's voice from thin air. "Take 26!"

The entire cast groaned and got back into possession.

* * *

There are the practical jokes for this chapter.

**We will do other special stuff, but not all of it will be making fun of our own writing.**

Anywho, like I said before, Avatar is Nickolodeon property and is just being made fun of here. I love the show, have the first DVD, and other neat stuff.

**Adios peoples! See you I don't know when!**

Ja ne!


	3. Destiny Islands Day 2

**Chapter 3: Destiny Islands Day 2**

Hi everyone! Back again with yet another chapter! AND GUESS WHAT! KH2 IS OUT!

**And to the flamer, you don't know what you're thinking you piece of (BEEP)**

Andrea, we have a better way of dealing with flamers. Any and all flames will be publicized, made fun of, and then laughed at until we get bored and/or another flame comes along. Our flamer, popopopop says "You assuck"

**Let me find him and kill him!**

Now, now Andrea... First of all, popopop-what-your-face, you have BAD SPELLING! I'd like to point out to you that you should spell check your insult so you can's get made fun of. Anything YOU'D like to say, Andrea?

**You should go to hell and not read this fic if you don't want too. Ass.**

OK, what would you like to say, special guest, Rachel?

_Sugar..._

I know, we're getting to that part. What ELSE would you like to say?

_You're just lucky I don't know where you live, poperu..._

Well... We were supposed to just make fun of them, not threaten them... Oh well! Here's the chapter!

* * *

Sora jumped out of his boat onto the deck. He stretched lazily and glanced around. Where were Riku and Kairi? He saw Selphie and asked.

"Hey, have you ever heard of the legendary power of the Paupu Fruit?" she asked, ignoring the topic. "They say if you share it with someone you care for, you'll be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever—" but Sora was already leaving, muttering about how useless Selphie was. ((My idea!))

Sora went to where Kairi was the day before. He pushed on the door. Locked. "What do I do now...?" He leaned against it and he fell through.

"Hey Sora! Our raft still needs a name!" Riku called, waving Sora over. "Hmm... How about Highwind?" When Sora started laughing, he glared. "Oh yeah? What's wrong with that!"

When Sora finally got enough air to talk, he said, "Riku, we aren't on drugs, ok?"

Riku pulled out his toy sword and hit him as hard as possible. "YOU MORON! What would you name it then?"

Sora thought for a moment. _'I can't name it Kairi... I know!' _"Excaliber!"

"You guys at it again?" Kairi jogged over. "Ok, the usual rules apply. The first one to touch the tree and get back wins."

Sora said, "If I win, uh... I'm captain! And if you win..."

"I get to share the Paupu Fruit with Kairi," Riku said with a serious look in his eye.

"WHAT!" Sora screamed.

"Deal? Winner shares the Paupu with Kairi."

"Wha—? Wait a minute!"

"Ok, are you ready? Ready, set, GO!" Kairi shouted, signaling to start.

Sora ran across and made it back right before Riku. "Yahoo! That's 1 to 0!"

Kairi grinned and shook her head. "Nope! I won! I touched the tree and when I came here, I made it back first!"

"What?" Riku stared at her. "That doesn't count!"

"Really? I never said WHEN you had to touch the tree! Just that you had to touch it," she laughed with her trademark giggle. **((You guys are ridiculous people! Why am I even here? Where's my coffee?))**_((Where's my sugar?))_**((Ugh... Just give her the sugar already.))**((Already on it.))

They went to the raft and Kairi assigned them the junk. "By the way, the raft will be called Socks!" **((I wanted to name it Sucks, but she wouldn't let me...))**((You're the one who wouldn't let me name it Kitty!))

Sora looked down at the pink, frilly stationary Kairi had given him. Water not from the ocean _'easy'_, 2 green coconuts _'are they even ripe?'_ a seagull egg _'I got pecked LAST week for a dare! Now Kairi tells me to get it!'_ 3 fish _'and here I misplaced my fishing pole'_ and 3 mushrooms _'but I hate those!' _Sora thought after he read each item on the list. He glanced over to Riku, who was already gone. He sighed and started trying to climb the giant palm trees for the coconuts.

* * *

Sora wandered over to the Secret Place, battered from seagull talons. He made a mental note **_NEVER_** to do that or anything similar again. _'This is worse than when my stupid pet bird fell in love with the mirror in its cage...'_ he thought, remembering the time he had to clean the cage and the parakeet attacked him for removing the mirror that was pecked to death. _((The bird is like my pet bird that's a Heartless in disguise))_

Finding the mushroom next to the mysterious door, he noticed a carving. _'Hmmm... Gotta fix that...'_ Sora grabbed a stone and scratched out a marking that said "Riku Rulz".

He then saw the pictures of himself and Kairi that they'd drawn when they could barely reach the cookies at Riku's house. Nostalgically, he carved his hand giving a Paupu Fruit to Kairi without even realizing it. As soon as he had, he slapped himself in the head because he couldn't use White-Out or an eraser on rock like when he wrote it in his Journal at school.

"This world has been connected..." said a dark and scary voice.

"Who's there!" Sora cried, surprised.

"Tied to the darkness... Soon to be completely eclipsed..."

"Well, whoever you are, stop scaring me like this!" Sora snapped, his voice cracking from fear. "Huh? Wh-where did you come from?"

"You do not yet know what lies beyond the door."

"So you're from another world!"

"There is so very much to learn... You understand so little..."

"Oh yeah? Well, you'll see! I'm going to get out and learn what's out there!"

"A meaningless effort. One who knows nothing can understand nothing."

When the man didn't say anything else, Sora turned to look at the door, and then back. The person he had been talking to disappeared! "Where the hell did he go! I wanted to ask if he had a cookie..." **((You dunce! Go get it yourself! Your fingers aren't broken!))**((Now, now... His mom doesn't buy cookies. He has to make them himself.))

Sora left the cave and gave all of the things he'd collected to Kairi, making him feel ten pounds lighter. She led him over to the docks, where they sat and talked about random stuff. Feeling uncomfortable, Sora hardly said a word, until...

"Riku has changed," Kairi randomly blurted out.

"What do you mean?" Sora asked, without really thinking.

"Well, hmm..." Kairi looked down at the sparkling water sheepishly. "Sora! Let's take the raft and go! Just the two of us!"

"What!" Sora said, trying as hard as possible to avoid turning a bright shade of red.

Giggling, Kairi replied, "Just kidding!"

"What's gotten into you? You're the one who's changed, Kairi."

"Maybe..." Again, Kairi stared down at the glittering water. "Sora, don't ever change." At Sora's confused glanced, she stood up and changed the subject. "I just can't wait... Once we set sail... It'll be great." She stared out at the crimson sunset.

* * *

Meanwhile, Disney Castle was in an uproar. Daisy's torture had finally worked, and Donald showed everyone the letter.

Shocked, Daisy said, "What does this mean?"

"It means we'll just have to trust the King," muttered Minnie.

"Don't worry, Your Highness. We'll find the king, and this 'Key'." Donald said, almost too glad to be able to drool over other women.

"Thank you, both of you," Minnie smiled. "Oh, and to chronicle your travels, he will accompany you."

Donald stared around, but didn't see anyone.

"Over here!" a cricket called. "Cricket's the name! Jiminy Cricket at your service!"

"You couldn't even get a hot girl?" Donald complained.

"Look you, just get out of here!" Daisy said anxiously. She wanted Donald out of there as soon as possible.

Donald searched his friends' faces. Then he saw Goofy saluting. "YOU'RE COMING TOO!" He dragged him out of the door. ((Since I'm lazy, I'm not going to go through the stairway scene with Goofy and Jiminy. Nor shall I go through the Gummi Garage scene, since it's random enough as is.))

* * *

Sora was lying on his bed, his eyes wandering around his messy room. They found their way to the ship hanging from his ceiling with two toys in it. He thought back to what Kairi had said. _"I just can't wait... Once we set sail... It'll be great..."_

He glanced out his window and stared. "A storm? OH NO! The raft!" He cried, jumping out the window. Thankfully, he had done this summers ago, and learned how not to break his legs like when he first attempted it.

Rushing over to the island, he panicked. What would happen if he couldn't save the raft? Would they have to start all over again and wait until next summer? He couldn't bear the thought. He hurriedly tied up his boat. "Riku's boat... and Kairi's!"

Suddenly, a bunch of black creatures appeared from the wood on the deck, scaring Sora practically to death. They reminded him of his teacher's pet Chihuahua that bit him three weeks ago. He still had the bandages on his ass to prove it.

Pulling out his toy sword, he dashed toward the Secret Place. Maybe Riku and Kairi were there! When he reached there, Sora realized a large door blocked it. _'I wonder where this pink door came from? Better find Riku first.'_

He fled from the black creatures once again toward the small island with the Paupu Tree. As he crossed the bride, he spotted Riku. "Riku! Where's Kairi? I thought she was with you!"

"The door has opened," Riku mumbled, looking down at the sand surrounding his feet.

"Huh?"

"The door has opened Sora! Now we can go to the outside world!"

"What are you talking about! We gotta find Kairi first!" Sora shouted over the roar of the wind. _'Piece of shit! We have to find Kairi!'_ ((I hope you realize that I didn't insult Riku, but Andrea did.))**((He was asking for it!))**

"Kairi's coming with us! Once we step through, we might not be able to come back." Riku stared up at the dark sphere collecting in the sky. "We'll never see our parents again! Come on! No homework! We can't let fear stop us! I'm not afraid of the darkness!"

Sora stopped dead in his tracks. "But Riku, you still sleep with that clown nightlight in your room... I saw it when we had that sleepover the other day..."

Riku frowned. "Ok, I'm still afraid of the dark... BUT YOU ARE TOO! If you come with me, we won't be scared at all!" He held out his hand.

Sora shivered, but from fear or the cold gust, he didn't know. He jumped six feet in the air when he saw strange black tentacle things come out of the ground and start wrapping around Riku. He ran over to save his friend, thinking the black things were from a Hentai movie he had seen a few days before with Riku, Wakka, and Tidus. He hadn't gotten it at all, but he knew one thing now: tentacles and anything related to octopuses were dangerous.

A black portal opened up underneath him, frightening Sora even more. Sora felt it pulling him down and swallowing him. He tried to grab Riku's outstretched hand, but couldn't reach. He was yanked backward, the pain making him shut his eyes. Ice cold stung Sora all over his body, as the darkness became more absolute.

A light flashed above him, retrieving him from the inky blackness. He was back on Destiny Islands, holding a giant key. "Where'd this key come from?" He asked no one.

"Keyblade..." said the voice.

"AHH! IT'S THAT STALKER VOICE AGAIN!" Sora shouted, not even knowing he was talking. **((You moron...))**

"Er... Shut up!" the voice yelled. "Look, you have to save the love of your life from the evil grasp of the Heartless, fail miserably, get teleported to nowheresville and fight an evil creature of the darkness!"

"Why should I listen to you?"

"Because I'm a disembodied voice who knows everything since I'm nobody."

"Why?"

"Because 'Nobody knows'."

"Why?"

"BECAUSE EVERYONE SAYS SO!"

"Why?"

"GODDAMMIT!" The voice stopped talking.

Sora shrugged and went to the pink door. **((You don't know what's in that door! It could be girl stuff!))**He opened it and carefully followed the tunnel. "Kairi!"

"Sora..." Kairi answered, zombie-like. As she turned, the door behind her opened and blasted her at Sora.

Sora tried to catch her, but she passed right through him. He was forced back through the opening to a deserted place. Looking up, he saw Darkside. "I thought I beat you already!"

His shouting had no effect at all. The beast attacked Sora managed to dodge to the best of his ability. Once he struck the final blow, the object in the sky started sucking him and the Darkside up.

Sora held on to a board, which broke. "DAMN PLYWOOD! YOU SAVE EVERYONE IN THE MOVIES!" He screamed as the fell into the sky.

* * *

Well, thank you for sitting through this exceedingly long chapter. I hope you had more fun reading it than I did writing it for 2 hours...

**Uh... What she said... I was just making comments during KH play again...**

Anywho, KH2 is an awesome game and you must buy it now or perish!

**What she said, even though I don't have it and haven't even beaten KH1 yet.**

Did I say it right Square Enix?

_Do I get to keep drooling over Squall now?_

Square Enix guy: Yes, you may keep drooling. Now LEAVE US ALONE!

Ok... Until next time, later!

**Adios! If there are anymore flamers, STOP READING IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! GO AWAY!**


	4. Traverse Town

**Chapter 4: Traverse Town**

Hello once again. Nice to see you all again! No flames today!

**We're back! And we—**

(Stops Andrea) Don't TELL them!

**Oh, ok. Never mind, guys!**

Here's the chapter!

* * *

Donald and Goofy were wandering down a street, searching for Leon. Randomly, Goofy looked up at the sky. "Look! A star's going out!" Donald followed his finger to the star that was blinking.

"That's a satellite, dork!" Donald snapped. "Gosh! You're so retarded!" Donald continued down the street.

"Now, where's that key...?" Donald muttered.

Goofy watched Donald stupidly. "Hey, ya know? We outta go find Leon!"

"Aw, what do you know, you big palooka?" called Donald, signaling Goofy to follow him.

"What **_DO _**I know...? Hmmm... Come on, Pluto!"

Pluto, meanwhile, being the smart dog he is, was ditching the losers to find the local arcade. He sniffed the ground, and picked up a strange but familiar sent. He bounded over to it and found Sora. He had something that smelled like something belonging to Pluto's master, but the dog couldn't quite put his nose on it. In the end, he settled for slurping the boy's face with as slimy a tongue as possible.

Sora glanced up and around. He stared blankly at Pluto for a few seconds. "Huh? What? What a dream!" he moaned as he went to go back to sleep. This time, Pluto jumped on him. "Woah! This isn't a dream!" Standing up, he peered around the area. "Where am I? Oh boy..." He looked down at Pluto. "Do you know where we are?"

Pluto heard music that could only belong to one thing: DDR! He tore up the street to get to get to the sound. Oh, would he pound the gamers tonight!

"Hey! Wait!" Sora called, reaching out to him uselessly. Shrugging, he followed the dog out of the alleyway. "This is totally weird..." he muttered to himself, inspecting the area for anything familiar. "I'm in another world!" **((No duh! Isn't it obvious by the stuff?))**

With a resigned sigh, Sora trudged into the shop behind him and hoped that someone inside could tell him what was going on.

The store was warm and bright within. A man was standing behind the counter. "Hey! How may I—Aw, it's only a kid."

"I'm not a kid! And the name's Sora!" Sora shouted back.

"Ok, ok, simmer down. So, Sora, why the long face?"

"I had too much to drink I think, and I got a hangover... No, that was a few days ago! So, where is this exactly?"

The man rolled his eyes. "Traverse Town."

"Traverse Town... So, Gramps, is this really another world?"

"The name's not Gramps! It's Cid. Well, good luck with whatever you're doing. I'd look around a bit and see if you can get any information. If you run into any problems, come back here, all right?"

Sora nodded and left. He saw two big double doors and had to go through them. After all, there was probably a street full of candy and milkshakes and all kinds of other good stuff. He was disappointed.

The streets beyond were bare of anything but stores with candy **_IN_** them. What use were they, though? The idiot forgot to grab his vast stores of Munny from his house. He wandered around a bit until a running man cut him off. "Damn it! Watch where yo goin sucka!"

"You don't speak like that in Traverse Town!" the man yelled. Just as he reached top speed again, Sora threw the Keyblade, making the man trip. He flipped over just in time for absolutely NOTHING visible to take his heart. ((I thought the Heartless were supposed to do that...))**((Where are they?))**((Taking a coffee break))**((Again!))**

Sora ran out into the middle of the landing when he saw the man disappear. "Ha! Take that!" Suddenly, a bunch of black creatures appeared. "Those things from the island!" **((Finally they're off of coffee break...))** He was barely able to defeat them before he saw two people walk into a store.

He glanced through the window to see two boys in jeans and jackets arguing over something. Well, the one was more of a trench coat covered in pockets. It looked like a pocket in and of itself. Both were wearing baseball caps.

"I WANT THE LAST KINGDOM HEARTS PLUSHIE!" The one shouted, pulling on the toy's head and arms. ((Referance on purpose. lol))

"I WANT IT!" shouted the other, pulling on its feet. The clothes on it looked strangely familiar... **((My plushie!))**((MINE! Wait, it's not Riku. Here you go))

Sora shrugged. The two were obviously idiotic nerds who joined the moron brigade years ago. His stomach complained from hunger. Sighing, he decided to demand food from Cid. "Hi Cid! Can I have some food?"

"Here's 20 bucks. I mean... 200 Munny. Go get something at Burger King," he grumbled, preoccupied with fighting his dinner: a live lobster that needed to be boiled. He managed to disarm the lobster's carrot with a celery stick. "Take that!"

"What's 20 bucks?"

"No idea." Cid snatched up the shellfish and threw it in the pot. He missed by five feet and the lobster clamped onto Sora's nose.

"AHH! GET IT OFF!" Sora screamed like a little girl, running around in circles.

"You, sir, are the most pathetic excuse for a hero Square Enix has yet to see," crabbed the lobster in a British accent. It let go of Sora's face and scuttled away.

Not disturbed by the fact a **_LOBSTER_** had insulted him, Sora ambled out of the shop.

"They're comin' at you out of nowhere," said a man's voice.

"Who are you?" Sora asked, the shock from the talking lobster **_FINALLY_** catching up with him.

"And they'll keep on coming at you, as long as you continue to wield the Keyblade." The man pointed a gloved finger at Sora. He was tall, with brown hair and blue eyes. "But why? Why would it choose a kid like you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sora snapped, pulling out his Keyblade.

"Never mind. Now, let's see that Key."

"What? There's no way you're getting this!" Sora roared. Then he paused. "It's stuck to my hand..."

The man sighed and he touched the scar on his forehead. _'How am I supposed to get it now? Oh well, force time!'_ He drew his Gunblade. He waved his hand. "You will give me the Keyblade." ((I'm referring to 'Force Persuade' from Star Wars))

Sora did the same. "I will not give you the Keyblade!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's glued to my hand."

"Why is it glued to your hand?"

"Because I eat glue in my spare time!"

There was an awkward silence. Then, the man said, "Hey, I have glue in my pocket, if you'd like to eat it."

"REALLY!" Sora ran over like an idiot and the man hit him in the head with the Gunblade.

"Nice going Squall!" a girl with short black hair shouted.

"That's Leon," he replied. "Things are worse than we thought." He looked down at Sora. "A lot worse."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Alleyway, Donald and Goofy were walking and arguing. The fact was, it wasn't that great, since they can't even walk and chew gum at the same time.

"There's nobody here! Sure is spooky," commented Goofy.

"Aw phoey! I'm not scared!" Donald replied. A hand tapped him on the shoulder, making him scream like a little girl—worse than Sora's girly scream—and jump onto Goofy's back.

"Excuse me, did the King send you?" inquired a woman with brown hair tied back in a ponytail by a red ribbon. Her piercing green eyes were on the two. All Donald cared about though, was what was under her red button down dress. She was oblivious to where Donald's eyes and thoughts were, of course.

* * *

"Come on you lazy bum, wake up!" said a familiar voice.

Sora opened his eyes and stared at Kairi blearily.

"You ok?" she asked.

"I think so," was Sora's reply. Something was wrong here, though. Where was he?

"Those things that attacked you are after the Keyblade," Kairi stated. "But it's your heart they really want because you wield the Keyblade."

Sora grinned like an idiot. "I'm so glad you're ok, Kairi!"

"Kairi? Who the hell is that? I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie!" Sora blinked to see a girl with black hair and brown eyes tackle him onto the bed and start kissing him like a maniac fangirl who just met the real version of their favorite character. **((Like if Ryo got hold of Riku))**((Shhh!))

"Help!" Sora cried from between kisses.

"Yuffie!" Leon scolded, pulling the girl off of Sora. "Stop before you do something dumb!" He turned to Sora. "Sorry, she has an obsession with guys with big feet."

Yuffie pouted. "Aw, but Squall—"

"That's Leon."

Sora noticed his Keyblade against the wall. "Hey! Give me back my giant house key!" he said.

"Yeah, we had to get it away from you to shake off those creatures. Turns out, that's how they were tracking you." Yuffie held up a finger as she explained.

"We concealed your heart from them. You should be grateful we stole it from you," Leon growled. "Our trick won't work for long." He picked up the Keyblade. It flashed and reappeared in Sora's hands.

"Start making sense! What's going on?" Sora glared.

In the other room, a similar conversation was beginning. "Ok, you know that there are other worlds out there, besides your castle and this town."

"Yeah," said Donald.

"But they're supposed to be a secret!" Goofy covered his mouth for a visual.

"They've been secret because they've never been connected. Until now." Aerith looked down at her hands. "When the Heartless came, everything changed."

"The Heartless?" Sora inquired.

"The things that attacked you, you remember?" Yuffie smiled sweetly.

Leon glanced their way. "They're created from the darkness in hearts. And there is darkness within every heart," he added.

"Hey, have you ever heard of someone named Ansem?" Yuffie asked.

"Ansam?" Goofy put his hand on his chin.

"He was studying the Heartless. He left his findings in a very detailed report," explained Aerith.

"Gawrsh, can we see 'em?"

"Their pages are scattered everywhere." Aerith shook her head and closed her eyes, saddened.

"Scattered? I thought you stuffed your bra with them!" Donald spoke up.

Bright red, Aerith beat the crap out of Donald. When she'd finished pounding his face in, she flung him against the wall where the crash could be heard in the other room. "Don't you EVER say anything like that to me again!"

"I betcha the King went to find them!" Goofy said, not noticing the fight that had just broken out.

Aerith smiled at Goofy. "Yes, those were my thoughts exactly."

"We better find him, quick!" Goofy said.

"Wait!" Donald shouted, peeling himself off the wall. "First we need that key!"

"Yes, the Keyblade," said Aerith disdainfully.

Sora glanced at the Keyblade. "So this is the Key."

"Exactly!" Yuffie cried happily.

Leon finally uncrossed his arms. "The Heartless have great fear of the Keyblade. That's why they'll keep coming after you, no matter what."

"I didn't ask for this," Sora started.

"The Keyblade chooses its master, and it chose you!" Yuffie grinned.

"But how did all this happen?" Sora looked down at his feet. "I remember being in my room..." He jumped off the bed. "Wait! What happened to my home? My island! Riku! Kairi..."

"You know what? I really don't know." Squall shrugged.

The conversation had obviously ended, so Sora started looking around the hotel room. He opened the treasure chests lying around the place, since Yuffie said that the Keyblade could open any lock.

Suddenly, Yuffie sniffed the air and jumped up. "I smell shampoo! And rotten sandwiches in pockets. And hyperness!"

"Sounds like some fans to something or another. Ignore it. Come on. Aerith should have some guests right now." Squall turned toward the door.

"Leon!" Yuffie screamed.

Sora and Leon spun around and saw a Heartless with a helmet appear—a Soldier. "Yuffie! Go!" Leon instructed, directing to the door.

The door bang open, crushing Donald into the same wall Aerith had slammed him into before.

"Yuffie?" inquired Aerith, concerned when Yuffie grabbed her wrist.

Leon drew his Gunblade. "Let's go!" He kicked the Heartless so it broke the glass of the window. He jumped after it with Sora on his heels.

Somewhere in the hall outside came a voice saying, "You better be paying for that!"

Outside in the alley, Leon said, "Don't mess with the small fry! Let's go!" He ran off.

Sora inched back slightly. _'That bastard left me surrounded!'_ He swung his Keyblade wildly, somehow bashing all of the Soldiers so they all died. When they all disappeared, Sora stared around. "I must be a pretty good fighter!" Sora bragged to no one in particular.

He ran to the Third District, since he was almost positive Leon was going to the First where all the prissy people were.

The Third District was just a wide-open space with a bunch of bright lights that distracted him. "They're so prettyful..." he said, walking down the stairs toward the shining fountain.

In the little balcony above, Goofy ran over to the edge and looked over at Sora. There was a sound behind him. Two Soldiers appeared on either side of the balcony. "Gawrsh, are these the Heartless guys?"

"Let's kill 'em cause they aren't hawt, sexy mammas," said Donald, drawing his wand.

Sora glanced up when he heard the huge explosion from Donald's fire spell. He saw the two bodies falling toward him. "Aw shit! I didn't kill them!" he yelled, running from what he thought were corpses. All the same, Donald and Goofy flattened him.

"Aw, we couldn't have even landed on a sexy girl?" Donald complained. ((Note to self, NEVER heal Donald ever again.))

"Uh, Donald? He has the Keyblade," Goofy said, pointing the giant key out.

Thinking fast, Sora said, "Uh, no! This is my oversized house key!"

There was an earthquake and tiles on the ground shot up as huge pillars. A bunch of Soldiers appeared.

"Banzai!" yelled a voice. The two people Sora had seen fighting over some stuffed toy sky dived from where Donald and Goofy had been, landing feet first on two of the enemies. The one in the trench coat pulled two samurai swords from his pockets and the other pulled out a staff with feathers dangling off of two points on a star.

"You're on our side?" Donald said, pointing.

"Cool!" Sora butted in.

The group killed off the opponents easily. The boy with the wand seemed a much more competent magic user than Donald, for he kept casting spells that made Donald stare. "Ice Daggers!" he shouted in a loud, feminine voice. Icicles appeared and flew in different directions, killing dozens of Heartless.

Sora sliced one in half, but another tried to claw Sora's heart out. The one in the trench coat slashed that Soldier in half easily and moved onto the next.

Once all the enemies were gone, a bunch of armor pieces fell from the sky. Then they hopped to life, connecting into a giant, purple creature. The guard armor started moving with its disconnected body parts.

Everyone attacked the creature's appendages, finishing the legs first, and then moving onto the arms. Finally, it got irritated and snatched the person in the trench coat off the ground, tossing him into the suit of armor.

Just as it was about to complete the combo it had done and finish Sora, it hesitated. The symbol on the front was shattered and the boy it had swallowed leaped from the hole. "Man that was stupid," he commented.

The Guard Armor shuddered, and it's head fell off and rolled away on the ground. A large heart floated away as the armor disappeared.

"Yaho! Watashi shōri suru!" sang the two people. ((It's to the Final Fantasy Victory Music, but I'm not sure what Final Fantasy A+ used. I couldn't figure it out...))**((If you know it, tell us!))**

"You guys were great!" Sora complimented.

They both burst into laughter. Sora's perplexed look made them fall onto the ground and bang their fists against the fixed tiles. "What's so funny?" Donald snapped.

The one with the staff stood up, propping herself up with it. "We have something to tell you!" She pulled off her hat and shook her head so that her blonde hair got maximum airtime as it swished beautifully back and forth. "I'm a girl!"

"Ooo! ME NEXT!" The girl in the pocketed trench coat ripped her hat off, along with most of her hair, so that she now had boyish cut hair. "Aw man! That's the twenty-seventh time!" she whined, pulling a jar from on of the pockets and shoving the hair into it.

"Gawrsh, how'd that fit in that pocket?" Goofy asked, eyes bulging.

The girl looked at the jar and said, "My pockets are magical. They lead everywhere and anywhere. Watch!" She stuffed her hand with the jar in one, and the same hand and jar came out a pocket on her back. "Damn it! Didn't want it to go there!" She pulled her hand out, leaving the jar of hair.

Donald turned to Sora. "We've been searching all over for you!"

"You've been looking for me?" Sora pointed to himself, just to make sure he was the one being addressed.

Leon showed up from no where. "They too have been seeking the wielder of the Keyblade." Yuffie nodded in agreement to what he said.

"Why don't you come with us?" Goofy suggested to Sora and the two girls. "We can go to other worlds on our vessel!"

"I wonder if I could find Riku and my true love Kairi..." he muttered. He stopped and turned crimson. "Did I just say that out loud!" When the girl with the staff nodded, Sora looked down, sadness now mixing with embarrassment.

"Of course!" Donald said.

"Ya really think so?" Goofy inquired, trying to be quiet enough so the others couldn't hear.

"Who knows, but we need him to help us find the king!"

Leon uncrossed his arms once again. "Sora, go with them. Especially if you want to find your friends."

Donald waved his finger. "But you can't come along looking like that, understand? No frowning, no sad faces, ok?"

Sora stared at him confused. "So I should come naked?"

"NO!" Donald screeched, shielding his eyes at the thought.

"You gotta look goofy, like us! Ahyuk!" Goofy's head was pushed aside.

"This ship runs on happy faces!"

Sora was gazing at his feet again. "Happy?"

Everyone was smiling at him now, trying to find a way to get him to grin too. Sora lifted his head without warning and had a huge, wacky grin on his face. When no one reacted, he stopped smiling and raised an eyebrow.

At that, everyone started laughing, except Leon, who hates laughing at anything. Sora stood up straight. "Sure, I'll go with you guys."

"Donald Duck!" He held his hand up.

"Name's Goofy!" Goofy put his on top of Donald's.

The girl with the staff put her hand on Goofy's. "We're Ryo—"

"—and Andrea!" The other girl did the same.

"I'm Sora." He put his hand on the pile too.

"All for one and one for all!" Goofy shouted.

Donald tapped his foot impatiently. "So, now that we have these guys on our team, let's get going!"

There was a bright flash and they were all beamed up to the Gummi Ship.

"Um... Donald? I really gotta pee..." Sora said when they were moving away from Traverse Town.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE BEFORE WE LEFT! HOLD IT!"

Andrea pulled a port-a-potty from her pocket. "How'd that get in there...? Ah well. Use it Sora, and then we can fire it into space!"

* * *

Credits:

The idea for the song, Yaho! Watashi shōri suru! goes to a Flash Video called "Final Fantasy A+". Though, I can't remember what the original words were, so I used my Japanese dictionary.

The spell Ice Daggers is from Star Ocean: Til the Ends of Time. It belongs to Square Enix.

Force Persuade belongs to Star Wars. No idea who owns that.

**That's all until next time. I guess.**

Oh, if you read the first lines of the first chapter, you'll see the names Ryo and Andrea there too. Andrea and Ryo are so crazy, they even appeared in Sora's dream. Yes, that was on purpose. Ato de aimashō! (See you later!)


	5. Wonderland Part 1

**Chapter 5: Wonderland**

Okay! We've gotten to Wonderland (finally)

**Sorry it took so long. I live 20 miles from the nearest computer. Me wishes I had a transdimensional coat...**

So do we all... Just so you know, it's almost midnight. Me apologize for strange and random occurrences. Here's the chapter!

* * *

"So, what world are you from?" Sora inquired, practically falling asleep in his chair.

Ryo grinned and said, "We know all the answers, but don't always tell." At Sora's confused look, she repeated in simpler terms blandly, "We're not telling, and you can't make us. Not even if you get me a Bishonen."

Sora, Donald, and Goofy all blinked in minor confusion by the term "Bishonen", but no one pressed the issue. Donald pointed out the window at the huge world they were now approaching. It was pink with a pattern of hearts across it. Hedges formed heart-shaped gateways and other strange things.

They stepped out of the ship and tumbled down a huge tunnel. Goofy quickly fell asleep, while Sora tried to stay balanced and Donald tapped his foot impatiently in the air. Ryo and Andrea, on the other hand, were playing poker as they fell, the cards staying in a perfect stack.

By the time they reached the ground, Andrea and Ryo were playing Go Fish and Goofy was out cold. Andrea pocketed the deck in one of her many pockets and they had a ten-point landing. Goofy, on the other hand, flopped onto his stomach and grunted.

At that moment, a little white bunny rabbit with a waistcoat waddled by, staring at his clock. "Oh my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late! Oh, dear! I'm here! I should be there!" He broke into a sprint. "Oh the Queen! She'll have my head for sure!"

"Wait!" Andrea called after it. "I wanna pet you!" And with that, the chase was on.

They dashed down a hallway until they reached a door. "I wanna open it!" Andrea shouted, opening the first one. Delighted, she opened the next door, and the next, and the next. After about twenty of them, she pulled out a blowtorch from her pocket and charred the last thirty doors. "There. Let's go."

The next room was a light colored chamber with hardly anything in it. There was a bed and a couch, but that was about it. The rabbit, meanwhile, had already run through a tiny door.

"How'd he get so small?" Sora asked, crouching down.

"No, you're simply too big!" Andrea, Ryo, and the doorknob voiced at the same time.

The doorknob stared at them, cocking an eyebrow. "Don't do that again, got it?"

"It talks!" Donald shouted in surprise.

Meanwhile, the doorknob yawned. "Must you be so loud? You woke me up."

With a grin and a wave, Goofy said, "Good mornin'."

Yawning very loudly once again, The doorknob said, "Good night. I need more sleep." He closed his eyes and was just about to snore loudly.

"Wait! How do we grow small?" Sora yelled, trying to keep the oddity awake.

"Nice one," Ryo commented exuberantly, pulling out a notebook to list the oxymoron down. "Me like oxymorons."

With a cold, sleepy glare, the doorknob replied, "Why don't you try the bottle," he paused, trying to remember what he had started saying, "over there?"

Sora spun around to see a table and chair rise up from out of the floor. Two bottles were on the table. Ryo picked up the orange bottle and handed it to Sora without reading the label.

"Here you go, test dummy!" Ryo said with a grin. "If you die, we know it's poison!"

Sora glared, but chugged the bottle anyway. "I don't feel"—he grew a foot larger—"any different." He grew even taller. "Ow!" His head hit the ceiling. "Give me the other bottle!" he cried as he had to double over to not break the ceiling.

Ryo threw the blue bottle to Sora's oversized hand. Sora took a swig of it, and then shrunk to about three inches tall. "Thanks!" Sora said in a voice more high-pitched than usual.

Ryo and Andrea were howling with laughter at the sight. "I'm taller than you now!" Andrea giggled.

"Maybe you could crawl into Brittany Spears' head and see if she has a brain, ThumbleSora," commented Ryo, doubling over. **((My turn to drink it ... oh if I die stay away from my funeral, Sora.))**

Andrea picked up the blue bottle and drank the contents, also shrinking, then Donald and Goofy. Finally Ryo took the bottle and looked inside. "There's nothing left!" she growled. "Can I get a refill?" she asked the air. The bottle glowed and refilled. "Thank you!" She sipped the contents, shrinking as well.

"Now where do we go?" Sora asked, when the doorknob wouldn't wake up.

Goofy signaled over to the bed. "There's a hole over here! Come on!"

They all crawled under the bed and ended up in a large grassy place. The hedges were trimmed to look like hearts. The white rabbit from earlier ran up stairs to a large podium. Breathing heavily, he blew his trumpet. "Court is now in session!"

A girl with blonde hair wearing a blue dress stared for a moment. "I'm on trial? But why?"

The rabbit completely ignored her. He was still trying to catch his breath as he said, "Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, presiding!"

An exceedingly ugly woman opened her hideous eyes. "This girl is the culprit. There's no doubt about it!" She hid her face behind a heart-shaped fan in a futile attempt to look alluring. "And the reason is... Because I say so, that's why!"

"But that's so unfair!" squeaked the tiny girl.

The queen glared at her. "Well, haven't you anything to say in your defense?"

"Of course!" the girl said, defiantly putting her hands on her hips. "I've done absolutely nothing wrong! You may be queen, but it doesn't give you the right to be so..." her voice trailed off as the queen got angrier "...so mean."

"SILENCE!" the queen screeched. "You dare defy **_ME_**?!"

The girl's courage failed her entirely.

"What is she, Shamu?" Andrea commented. "Stay away from the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast buffets for a while, fatso!"

Ryo snickered. "She reminds me more of Fat Chocobo, but not as cute." ((Players of Final Fantasy will understand. Possibly.))

Throughout Ryo and Andrea's little conversation, Sora, Donald, and Goofy were arguing. "Hey, we should help her out."

Donald replied, "Yeah, but the—"

"We're outsiders," Goofy interrupted, "so wouldn't that be muddling?"

"MEDDLING!" Donald corrected.

"Oh yeah. That's against the rules."

"Screw the rules!" Andrea and Ryo both shouted in unison.

The Queen of Hearts drew the group's attention from the argument. "The court finds the defendant guilty as charged! For the crimes of assault and attempted theft of my heart, OFF WITH HER HEAD!!" **((That's got to suck. Oh well back to the story))**

"Oh no! Oh please!" the girl cried.

"Hold it right there!" Sora shouted. He ran forward with Ryo and Selena in tow. Donald and Goofy did a double take to where the three had been.

"Who are you?" the queen squawked. "How dare you interfere with my court!" Her face was livid.

"Excuse me, but we know who the real culprit is!" Sora said, glancing to the surprised girl.

Goofy grinned stupidly. "Uh-huh! It's the Heart—"

Ryo and Andrea slammed their hands over Goofy's mouth. "Shut up, stupid!" Ryo hissed.

"Your face is the culprit!" Andrea shouted, pointing at the queen.

The queen was taken aback by the comment. "How dare you! Off with the short one's head as well!"

An utter stillness filled the courtyard, only broken by Andrea cracking her knuckles.

"Oh dear..." Ryo muttered. "Don't insult her height. She's sensitive!"

"Aw, phooey. How sensitive can someone that short be?" Donald started snickering.

Andrea then tackled Donald and a clouded mass broke out around them, making it impossible to see what was happening. Strangling noises and screams from Donald could be heard, but nothing else.

"Anyway," Sora said, distracting everyone from the minor battle, "she's not the one you're looking for."

"That's nonsense," the queen growled, fanning herself. "Have you any proof?"

Sora hesitated, giving the queen enough time to command her guards to lock the girl into a birdcage. Sora approached walked over to the girl and apologized quickly.

"It's all right," the girl said. She introduced herself as Alice and explained her predicament. "Oh, I do hope I don't lose my head," she said. "Why, if I lost my head, how would any food reach my stomach?"

Andrea thought for a moment. "You know how wrong that sounded?"

"What do you mean?" Donald asked.

"Oh, never mind. Let's just go someplace."

The gang took Andrea's suggestion and headed into the forest.

* * *

Happy New Year, peoples!

**YAY!! I WIN!! AGAINST THE HEARTLESS PEOPLE!!**

... She's playing KH right now. Do you have anything to say, Andrea?

**Happy New Year! I pwn Heartless!**

3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

**Not yet, stupid. It's not midnight yet.**

Oh right... Me sorry! (bows)


	6. Wonderland Part 2

**Chapter 6: Wonderland Part 2**

**The reason we're calling it Part 2 is because we have NO idea what to call it!**

Well, that's better than usual. All righty! Chapter time!

* * *

The group entered a strange area with grass taller than even Goofy and talking flowers. Everything looked like it was made of cardboard, from the lake to the Lotuses that were miniature trees.

Suddenly, a pink, striped cat appeared out of nowhere. Or, its head did. When the rest of it appeared, the cat was dancing on its head while on a stump. He picked the fluffy head up and placed it back onto his body the correct way.

"Hey! You're not a woman!" Donald pointed out. "You're gay!" ((Not meaning to offend anyone. Sorry if we have!))

The cat practically got Xs for eyes. "I AM NOT GAY!!" he hissed loudly. "Just because I'm pink and talk in riddles doesn't mean I'm gay!" He took a deep, calming breath.

"Who are you?" Sora asked, holding back a struggling Ryo, who was shouting about how much she loved kitty cats and wanted to hug the cat. Andrea was being no help while reading the script of "What Really Happened as a Result of Sugar: Chain of Memories" and eating Ramen, thus destroying the script by spilling food on it. **((Whoops... Um... Can I have more Ramen?)) **((No, not after what you did.)) **((Can I have some later?))** ((If you're good.)) **((Yay!))**

The cat regained his goofy grin. "Who indeed? Poor Alice, soon to lose her head, and she's not guilty of a thing!"

"Hey, if you know who the culprit is, then tell us!" Sora shouted.

Donald elbowed him in the side. "Sora, we already **_KNOW_** who the culprit is."

The cat grinned more broadly. "The Cheshire Cat has all the answers—but doesn't always tell. The answer, the culprit, the cat all lie in darkness," he said, vanishing slowly, one stripe at a time.

"WAIT!!" Sora shouted.

The Cheshire Cat's voice came from nowhere. "They've already left the forest. I won't tell which exit. There are four pieces of evidence in all. Three are a cinch to find." His voice became malevolent. "The fourth is tricky. Big reward if you find them all!"

Donald crossed his arms. "Should we trust him? I mean, he's obviously gay, talking like that."

The cat reappeared and then disappeared after saying, "To trust, or not to trust? I trust you'll decide!" Once he was gone, he shouted, "AND I'M NOT GAY!!"

* * *

After a lengthy, boring three hours of finding evidence, Sora, Donald, and Goofy return to where Andrea and Ryo had been having their picnic. "We got it all," Sora groaned, flopping down next to Andrea.

"Well, looks at what you've found," the Cheshire Cat said, reappearing in a strange way. His head, minus the ears, reappeared on Goofy's head, his paws on Andrea's head, his body on Donald's head, and his ears on Ryo's head with tail on her back, making Ryo look like a kitty.

Despite the fact Ryo would be happy to be a cat, she spun around and stomped on the tail, yelling, "PERVERT!!" Then she touched the ears. "But I'll keep the ears!"

The body parts vanished and reattached themselves in front of the group. "My body parts!" he cried.

Sora, on the other hand, was ignoring the entire incident. "Now we can save Alice."

"Don't be so sure!" the Cheshire Cat said, stroking his injured tail. "She may be innocent, but what about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not telling, since you're little friend stomped on my beautiful, fluffy tail!" the Cheshire cat said, pouting. "But I'll give you something."

Sora's Keyblade shown blue for a moment. "Have fun, Keyblade Master!" the Cheshire Cat chuckled.

Shrugging, the group returned to the retarded Queen's castle.

"Are you ready to present evidence before the queen?" inquired a Red Card.

"Maybe," Andrea said, lengthening each syllable, until Sora elbowed her in the stomach.

"Stop goofing around!" he hissed. "Yes, we're ready."

"Very well. Counsel, step up to the podium."

The circus of a trial began, and while the Queen shifted through official-looking documents, Andrea and Ryo were making plenty of faces and rude gestures at her. It went on until a card caught them and told them to stop at once. Then they started making faces and rude gestures at the card.

The queen frowned from her high horse. ((snickers)) "Now, show me what you've found."

Sora nodded to Andrea, who stuck her whole arm into a pocket and withdrew four boxes. She threw them into the center, where they proceeded to smoke and combust. "Whoops! Wrong boxes!" Andrea laughed as she pulled out the correct boxes. "Me bad!"

All the cards gave the spectators the _WTF_ look.

"Well, that's certainly a lot of evidence, but I'm STILL not impressed!" She fanned herself as if she were some hot and sexy model, making Donald raise a feathered eyebrow and give the Queen the _WTF_ look. "Cards! Bring forth my evidence!"

The cards averted their eyes from the fat whale and reveal a single, broken, ugly box.

"Fat whale! You're hideous!" Andrea shouted. "Your cards are shielding their eyes to not see the four extra blubbery chins!"

The Queen glared. "That's it! I'm sick of you! YOU'RE GUILTY!! OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!!"

Despite being threatened and fighting a battle, Andrea still chastised the Queen. "Go to weight watchers or something! Stop eating all those Girl Scout cookies! Ryo, stop trying to sell them!"

Ryo, meanwhile, was in front of the Queen, advertising Girl Scout cookies, which the Queen was gladly purchasing.

"Yeah, Queeny?" Andrea shouted. "See this?" she said as she bent her finger. "This is called 'moving your finger' and by doing this, you can easily shrink that fat ass of yours! Seriously, get a wide load sticker and put it there before you flatten us!"

Sora, Donald, and Goofy finally smashed the tower that held Alice in the cave about twenty feet relative in the air. In reality, it was only about two inches above the ground. Sora ran over and saw the cage was empty.

"Thank you for the orders!" Ryo called back as she hopped off the stand to join Sora. "Oh, she's gone?"

"Damn it!" Donald shouted. "I was hoping to flip her skirt!"

Andrea hit Donald in the head. "Pwn! Stop hassling little kids, Jackson!"

"But," Donald said, rubbing his head, "she's taller than you, sir..."

Andrea hit Donald even harder and K.O.ed the perv.

"You fools!" the Queen of Hearts screamed, her face turning red from strain. "Find the one who's behind this! I don't care how!"

"See?" Andrea said. "That's from being too fat! You need to get up!"

The Queen crossed her arms. "It's because I have heart problems."

"It's because you eat too much from Burger King!"

"How do you know my late husband?"

They all inched away toward the Lotus Forest. Well, Sora had to drag Andrea because she was in the middle of yelling, "You're screwed up! You ate your husband! You cannibal! I hope your husband wasn't squished first! You swallowed him whole, didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU?!"

* * *

Once in the forest, the Cheshire Cat showed up on top a boulder that randomly appeared out of nowhere.

Donald tapped his foot impatiently. "Look, pervert, have you seen Alice?"

"Look who's talking," Ryo muttered. "Pot calling the kettle black."

"Alice, no," said the cat, "her underpants, yes."

Donald electrocuted the cat. "I WANTED TO SEE!!" ((We've lost it officially...))

"Sheesh, just look on my blog!" the Cheshire Cat said.

"Can I borrow your laptop, Andrea?"

"No!" Andrea shouted. "NO LAPTOP FOR YOU!! I kinda took it apart..." She touched the tips of her fingers together, "...and I kinda don't know how to put it back together..." **((I really would like to take a comp apart. Can I do it to yours?)) **((No!)) **((Darn it...))**

"Where'd the Shadows go?" asked Goofy.

"This way? That way? Does it matter? Left, right, up, down! All mixed up thanks to Alice's panties!" He was electrocuted again by Donald. "Step deeper into the forest to the deserted garden. You might find her skirt in the upside-down room!" He vanished before Donald could REALLY murder him. ((I can't believe I'm typing this... Does this count as M rated?)) **((Oh well!))**

"You've been really quiet, Sora," Ryo pointed out.

Sora glanced up. "I've just been wondering why my feet are so big. Maybe my real parents are clowns."

Sighing and shaking their heads, the group made their way to the Tea Party Garden, where they met the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. A Mad Tea Party broke out for everyone's Unbirthday. After a conga line broke out on the table and destroyed the tea sets, the group left.

"Gawrsh, are you from this world?" Goofy asked.

"No, we're from somewhere completely different," Andrea said with a grin. "We're from... uh... somewhere..." She tried to concentrate, but then a Bread and Butterfly flew by and distracted her from her attempt to remember.

Sighing again, Goofy dragged the two girls through the door into the Bizarre Room.

The Cheshire Cat reappeared. "They're hiding somewhere. And the momeraths outgrabe. Want to find the shadows? Try turning on the light."

"Wait!" Sora cried. "What's a momerath?" Giving up, Sora touched the light and it turned on.

"It's too dim," commented the Cheshire Cat. "Make it brighter."

Donald tapped his foot impatiently. "What next?"

"One more lamp that you need to light, you baka." ((Baka means idiot))

The group lit the second lamp. "All the lights are on. You'll see the shadows soon," the Cheshire Cat explained. "They'll arise in this room, but somewhere else. The shadows might go after that doorknob, too."

Ryo sighed, grabbed everyone's arms, and jumped. They rushed toward the floor-now-ceiling and landed on the table.

"The shadows should be here soon. Are you prepared for the worst? If not, too bad!" The Cheshire Cat laughed and vanished.

The Trickmaster jumped down from the ceiling in a similar way to Ryo. It jumped around and started juggling.

"Oh god, I hate clowns," Andrea said, heaving a sigh. She pulled out the giant bottle with the orange label and chugged it. Then, she grew huge and stomped on the now miniature Heartless. "Well, that was easy," Andrea said in a loud, deep voice.

"Ha ha! You sound like a man!" Sora laughed. "Can we have the bottle now?"

"What a racket. How's a doorknob to get any sleep?"

They all turned to see the doorknob yawn with his mouth opening big enough to swallow a zebra. A keyhole flashed inside of his mouth, and Sora's Keyblade shown brilliantly. A beam shot from the tip and shot into the keyhole, with a loud **_CLICK_**.

"What was that?" Donald asked, donning a strange expression.

Sora crossed his arms. "Mind outta the gutter, Donald. Did you hear that, though? Sounded like something closed."

A Gummi block dropped onto the ground in front of Goofy.

"This Gummi ain't like the others. No, sir."

Donald moaned. "Great, another thing for me to hold on to."

Meanwhile, Andrea took it and pocketed it. "Stupid weak, ducky."

"Splendid!" applauded the Cheshire Cat, reappearing on the table. "You're quite the hero." His expression changed to dismal—it didn't look right for the normally bright cat. "If you're looking for Alice, she's not here. She's gone! Off with the shadows, into darkness." He vanished, his face not returning to the once happy expression.

"No..." Sora said, seeming about to cry.

Donald slapped Sora on the shoulder. "Let's go back to our Gummi Ship. We might find her in another world! Cheer up!"

"We've gotta get bigger to get onto the ship!" Goofy pointed out.

Sora turned to the giant known as Andrea. "Andrea! Potion! I don't want to be shorter than you anymore!"

Andrea poured a drop on everyone except Sora and let him or her return to regular size. Sora, on the other hand, she through into a pocket. "You'll stay like this until I decide to forgive you for that short comment."

With that, they left the world.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Queen's courtyard, the Queen of Hearts found a box with a note attached reading: "Caution, do not open under any circumstances" in Japanese on it. Of course, the Queen's too stupid to read English very well, let alone Japanese Kanji and Kana, so she opened it anyway.

On the inside was caution tape with "Caution: Wide Load." A note next to it said, "Please attach to your Ass." The note also had helpful little pictures to go with it, so that even the idiot of a Queen could understand.

"I HATE YOU, YOU SHORT PERSON!!" the Queen roared to the boxed-in sky.

"WHO CALLED ME SHORT?!" was heard throughout the entire court from light-years away on the Gummi Ship. Gummis, after all, travel **_VERY_** quickly.

* * *

Well, that's it for the chapter! Two months—that has to be a record for how quickly this has been updated. Right Andrea?

**Yeah. Stupid school. I know what I need! MORE SUGAR!!**

SUGAR!! CANDY!! YAY!!

**Bye!**

Bai bai!


	7. Coliseum

**Chapter 7: Coliseum**

We are back and better than ever!

**Heh heh... D.Gray-Man's cool.**

Yes it is, Andrea, but we're writing KH, or I am and you're being supervisor. Basically, you're telling me what to do and completely ignoring me while reading.

**Huh? What? Aw, let's just get on with it!

* * *

**

"So," Sora asked as they all entered a huge open space with golden statues of gladiators, "are you guys from Wonderland?"

Ryo shook her head. "We wouldn't survive, with how much Andrea picked on the Queen there."

"Well, that coulda been why you aren't hanging around there anymore, ahyuck!" Goofy replied.

"No, we were banished for different reasons and from a different world entirely," Ryo said with a laugh.

Andrea took one look at the statues and said, "That's just wrong! They're wearing skirts!" She then took to shielding her eyes as they walked past into a brightly-lit lobby.

On the small podium stood a goat-man messing with a sign. Sora approached and tried to make the group's presence known, only to be shooed away by the goat with, "Good timing! Give me a hand, will ya? I gotta spruce this place up for the games!"

Sora glanced over at the ridiculously huge pedestal, and with a shrug, shoved the rock with all his might. It didn't budge. "It weighs a ton!" he grunted, still pushing.

"It might help if they got off of it!" Donald pointed out, gesturing to our two favorite nutcases sitting on the pedestal playing Pokemon Monopoly.

"Well, he said he was sprucing this place up for the games!" Ryo explained, rolling the dice. "Sweet! Double Ones!" ((For anyone who doesn't get why I'm happy about Snake Eyes, play Pokemon Monopoly.))

Sora, as always, ignored the two psychos and complained to the goat-man, "It's way too heavy!"

"What?" the goat-man's ears perked. "Too heavy? Since when have you been such a little—" he turned and stopped mid-sentence. He looked down at Sora, and even lower to look at Andrea.

"I'M NOT THAT SHORT!!" Andrea sobbed into Ryo's shoulder, who patted her back comfortingly.

"Oh, wrong guy," he said. "What're you doing here? This here's the world-famous coliseum—heroes only!" he grumbled, walking up to retreating Donald.

"Keep away from me! You're no hot chic!" Donald cried, hiding behind Goofy.

The goat-man ignored Donald and said, "And I got my hands full preparing for the games! Run along, pipsqueaks, especially the shorty and the weakling!"

A loud snap was heard, making Sora, Donald, and Goofy cower behind the pedestal. ((That snap was our patience.))**((He's gonna get it now... **_**evil laughter))**_

After a bloody, R-rated beating, the goat-man was sitting with ice over a huge, throbbing lump on his head. "Look, it's like this. Heroes are coming from all over to fight ferocious monsters right here in the Coliseum."

Donald tapped his foot impatiently. "You've got heroes standing right in front of you!" he roared.

Goofy placed his hands on Sora's shoulders. "Yup! He's a real hero chosen by the Keyblade!"

"And we're heroes too!" Andrea shouted, pointing to herself.

The goat-man fell over laughing. "A hero? You runts?"

"What's so funny? I've fought a bunch of monsters!" Sora yelled over Goat-man's hysterical laughter.

"Like Shamu's fat wife!" Andrea added.

The goat-man placed his hands on the pedestal. "Look, if you can't even move this," he pushed gently, "you can't call yourself," he pushed harder, "a hero!" he had his back against it and was shoving it with all his might. He collapsed and said, "Okay, so it takes more than brawn. Well," he puffed, "well, let's see what you can do.

"This trial is tough. You got what it takes?" the goat-man continued.

"As a matter a fact, yes I can!" Andrea said, seeing the barrels. "Especially if there's candy inside!"

Ryo pulled out her staff. "One question, though: who are you, Mr. Goat-Man?"

"Phil," he replied. "I train heroes. It's my job!" He puffed up his chest importantly.

Raising an eyebrow, Ryo said, "Then shouldn't you be training us instead of being a big meanie face?"

"Look, you have to smash all these barrels. Good luck to ya." Phil sat down in the stands and watched Sora get ready.

"Let me handle this," Ryo said with a sweet smile—or what was supposed to be sweet. It was obvious she was still mad about the weakling comment. She lifted her staff and shouted, "Spirits of Ice, come forth and shatter my foe with your unending frost! Ice Daggers!"

Sharp chunks of ice launched at each barrel. Whatever they hit was frozen instantly and then crumbled.

"That's cheating!" Phil yelled. "No summoning in the Coliseum!"

Ryo smiled again, this time an angry symbol appearing on her cheek like in anime. "The spirits didn't do anything other than lend me power. I focused it with my own strength and gave it form as the daggers."

"It's still not your own power entirely!" Phil scolded. "That doesn't count! Now I have to set all the barrels up again for the runt!"

After a half-hour of complaining of hard work from Phil, Ryo and Andrea set up the barrels for Sora. The Keyblade master than destroyed the fruits of their labor in a total of fifteen seconds. ((ALL THAT WORK! GONE!))

Phil applauded Sora. "You know, you ain't bad, kid."

Sora grinned his goofy, trademarked grin and leaned his head back against his hands. "Looks like I'm headed for the games."

Hands on his hips, Phil said, "Afraid not."

"Why not?!" Andrea shouted.

"Two words: You guys ain't heroes."

"You're wrong!" Andrea snapped.

"Yeah!" Ryo agreed. "That's four words, and 'ain't' isn't even proper English!"

Andrea glanced at her friend. "That's not what I meant, you know."

Goofy rubbed his chin stupidly. "So, uh... what do we have to do?"

"Start by mastering this spell, if you and your idiot magician can," Phil said, teaching Sora and Donald thunder.

Disappointed, the group trudged out of the lobby. The sunlight seemed too bright for their depression—or at least, Sora's, Donald's, and Goofy's. Andrea and Ryo were plotting under their breath what they would do to the little goat-man when they saw him again. Sora could swear he heard the mention of whether Phil would taste better as curry or roasted on a spit.

"Rather a stubborn old goat, wouldn't you say?" inquired a voice that sounded like cold fire.

"Who are you?" Donald asked. "You're no hot Greek chic in a skimpy toga."

The tall man who'd spoken stepped out from the shadow of one of the gold gladiator statues. His skin was blue and his hair was blue fire. He wore a black toga and was taller than even Goofy—Andrea did not like this.

"He must be evil! He must be wearing high heels to be that tall!" Andrea cried. "And as we all know, bad guys tend to wear high heels!"

"Woah, woah, woah, hold on there, fuzz boy—you too, shorty." He approached Sora, walking right past the irritated Andrea. "Wait, let me guess. You want to enter the games, right?" He placed a hand on Sora's shoulder. "Well, then, hey, get a load of this." A piece of paper appeared in his hands.

"A pass?" Sora said, glancing up at the man.

Hades smiled. "It's all yours. Good luck, kid. I'm pulling for you little shorties." He walked away.

"I'M NOT SHORT!" Andrea bellowed. "YOU'RE JUST FROM A CLAN OF GIANTS OR SOMETHING!!" ((You know, Ed said that in the first episode of Fullmetal Alchemist.))**((So...? I can say it too. I'm sho—_silent scream from almost calling self short_))**((Yeah, Ed did that too.))

In the lobby, Sora showed off his Entry Pass to Phil with a smug grin.

"Hey, how'd you get this?!" Phil said, shocked.

"Can we enter the games now?" Sora asked hopefully.

"Well..." Phil said hesitantly. "I guess so. We start with the preliminaries, so get ready for it!"

Ryo smiled. "We were born ready for it!"

"Except you. You summon things, which is against the rules!" Phil yelled. "Be careful. Some real weirdos signed up for the games."

Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Andrea entered the battle arena, while Ryo stood on the sidelines cheering. Compared to earlier bouts with the Heartless, these baddies were a piece of cake. They owned the lame adversaries, much to the delight of Phil.

"You're no heroes yet," he said, "but you ain't doing bad. Lucky you came to me for coaching!"

"Ego, much?" Andrea muttered to Ryo, who snickered.

In the middle of Andrea and Ryo's laughing fit, a man with blonde, spiky hair to match Sora's death in the form of a hairdo walked by. He glanced at the group as he walked away.

"Something tells me he'll be a tough one to beat. Who knows, maybe you'll end up facing him," Phil said, stroking his goatee.

This time, Ryo whispered to Andrea, "What tells the goat he'll be tough? The killer hairdo or the fact he's obviously an angsty Bishie based on a character from Final Fantasy VII?"

After a few more victories, Phil said, "Say, you're better than I thought, Kid! Wish he was here to see this..."

"Who?" Andrea asked. "You're boyfriend?"

"Hercules," Phil sighed dreamily as if he hadn't heard Andrea's comment. "He's a hero if ever there was one. Too bad he's off visiting his father on Mount Olympus."

After more battles, Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Andrea, start dancing like morons in celebration of making it through so many rounds.

"That little punk is your next opponent, okay? Now, don't blow it. Just take him out," commanded Hades.

Cloud glared coldly at the tall man. "The great god of the underworld is afraid of a kid? Sorry, but my contract says—"

Hades exploded. "I know! You think I don't know? I wrote the contract! I know it says you're only required to kill Hercules in this tournament and bake me cookies every Wednesday afternoon. But you've gotta fight that kid to get to him. Come on! Hey, it's like that old goat says: Rule number eleven: It's all just a game, so let loose and have fun with it! I mean, a casualty or two or 3,526 along the way is no big deal, right?"

Cloud raised an eyebrow and headed off to the tournament.

"Geez. Stiffer than the stiffs back home. Still," Hades paused thoughtfully, "suckers like him are hard to come by..." He glanced at something breathing heavily behind him.

The group easily pounded their opponents to the ground, and then came face to face with Cloud. The match started, and Sora, Donald, and Goofy were easily thrown back. Cloud pointed his sword at Andrea. "Any last words?"

Andrea grinned. "Just a few. DUCK AND COVER!" She pulled a ticking object out of her pocket and threw it to Cloud. She then jumped into one of her pockets with her ears covered.

There was a huge explosion, and Cloud was on his back. Andrea hopped out of her pocket. "Well, that was easy."

Howling filled the area, and a giant paw stomped down on Cloud. "Oh, right, there was one other rule I forgot," Hades muttered. "Accidents happen."

Just as Hades left, a muscular man with brown hair and baby-blue eyes ran in and lifted Cerberus from the ground. "Herc!" Phil screamed like a little girl.

"Phil, get them out of here!"

Sora's group ran away like a bunch of pansies.

Phil fell onto his butt. "Whew, that was close! That was Cerberus, the guardian of the Underworld. Herc should be able to handle him," he said, but his confidence left him, "but then again, maybe not... This doesn't look good!"

"Wait, where are Ryo and Andrea?" Donald inquired, staring around the lobby for their lost friends.

"Gawrsh! They must still be in the arena!"

Sora spun around and ran to the door.

"Kid, you're not entering the arena are ya?" Phil said, fear shaking his voice. "This ain't just some match! This is for real!"

"I'm not afraid. My friends are still in there," Sora said. He turned back to the doorway. "You can decide if I'm hero material or not."

He didn't even hear Phil yell, "Careful, you bratty teenager!"

In the battle arena, Hercules just stood watching as Ryo threw a giant Frisbee with the power of wind spirits to one of Cerberus' heads. One was chewing on what looked like a dinosaur bone, and the other was learning tricks from Andrea.

"Who's a giant, dumb and friendly monster?" Ryo cooed in a sickeningly cute voice as she rubbed Cerberus' stomach. "Yes, you're a big, dumb, and friendly monster!"

"Weren't you guys fighting for your lives?" Sora asked.

"We were," Andrea said, "but then I remembered the giant dog toys I had."

Ryo grinned. "Can we keep them? Please?"

Donald tapped his foot. "We couldn't take care of something that big!"

Andrea revealed the shrinking potion from Wonderland. "A drop of this should be enough to make him dog-sized!"

Ryo poured a bit into each mouth, and the beast shrunk to the size of a Labrador Retriever. She hugged them. "You shall be named Fl, Uf, and Fy!" she cried, scratching each one behind the ears.

"Gawrsh, I guess we can keep them," Goofy said, while Donald slapped a hand over his face.

Later in the lobby, Phil was reading something from an old scroll. Ryo was still cuddling her new pet, and Andrea was grinning up a storm. "Thus, I do hereby dub thee junior heroes, and confer upon thee full rights and privileges to participate in the games. Further—"

"What do you mean 'junior heroes'?!" Andrea shouted.

"Ahyuk, and what did half of what you say mean?" Goofy inquired.

Phil rolled his eyes. "You rookies still don't understand what it takes to be a true hero."

"So what does it take, Mr. Know-It-All with an Ego the size of China?" Ryo asked.

"What's China?" Sora whispered.

Andrea interrupted, "It's a big country with a lot of people, but that's not important until the second game."

Sora shrugged, ignoring the comment about the game. Most of what the two nuts said made no sense anyway and was frequently overlooked.

Hercules smiled. "Well, that's just something you'll have to find out for yourselves, just the way that I did."

"No problem," said Sora with his usual smug grin. "We'll start by proving ourselves in the games."

"There ain't gonna be any games for a while, thanks to your knew pet. Gotta clean up after his mess first."

"Okay, we'll be back," Sora said, waving as they left the lobby.

Phil stroked his goatee. "I still can't believe that the girl actually tamed Cerberus."

Hercules whispered into his ear, "Just between us, Cerberus knew all those tricks because of Hades and his love of dogs."

Phil chuckled, "My lips are sealed."

Meanwhile, outside, Sora ran up to the sulking Cloud.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked, offering a hand.

Cloud glanced up, but then stared back at his hands. "Yeah."

"So, why did you go along with him, anyway?" Ryo inquired.

"I'm looking for someone. Hades promised to help. I tried to exploit the power of darkness, but it backfired." He stood up. "I fell into the darkness, and couldn't find the light."

"Ever think of making a missing person's report?" Andrea said.

Cloud gazed at Andrea, honestly thinking about what she'd said, but Sora interrupted the thoughts going through his head. "You'll find it. I'm searching too."

"For your light?" Cloud smiled when Sora nodded. "Don't lose sight of it." He handed something to Sora. "That's a materia," he said calmly. "Use it wisely." ((Materia is from FF7, in case you didn't know.))

Sora looked at the sphere in his hand, and then back at Cloud. "How about a rematch sometime? Fair and square, no dark powers involved!"

"I think I'll pass."

The Keyblade glowed and absorbed the materia Cloud had given Sora. With that, they left.

Later that day, Hades held an action figure of Hercules in his hand. "He's strong, he's kind, he's always there for you, and he's handsome to boot. He's perfect. Perfect." He crushed the toy and melted it furiously. "Perfectly infuriating! He makes me CRAZY!!" He exploded, and then calmed down. "Wait a minute, what are you talking about? All the pieces of pie are in place. Relax. Here's what you do. Let the man with the inflatable muscles train the kid. In the next games, I'll take care of them both." He paused and thought. "I wonder if I could get that muscle-man alchemist to ditch the runt and join me on my quest of world domination..." ((For those of you who don't get it, the "muscle-man" is Armstrong and "runt" is Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist))**((Good thing Ed isn't there...))**

Hades turned to Maleficent, who had just appeared. "Who invited you to the party? Stay out of this. This is my show!"

Maleficent smiled pityingly. "As you wish. Fight to your heart's content."

Hades clenched his hands into a fist as she vansished.

* * *

Yay! The chapter's done!

**Finally! It took us a while!**

Well, see you all next time!

**Hopefully it won't take as long!**


	8. Deep Jungle

**Chapter 8: Deep Jungle**

Woot! We've finally updated!

**Just get to the chapter!

* * *

**

After hours of being on the Gummi ship, everyone was getting cranky. Donald had tripped over Fl, Uf, and Fy at least fifty times pacing the ship. "Will you get that stupid mutt outta here!" he shouted after tripping again.

Ryo sighed and drew her staff. "Fl, Uf, Fy," she said, pausing between each of the names, "I ask you to return to your seal confined!" The three-headed dog disappeared.

"Gawrsh! How'd you do that?" Goofy asked.

"Retard, she's a summoner. It's her duty to handle big dumb and friendly monsters," Andrea answered, just as irritated as everyone else on the ship. "She has a couple others. Those ice daggers she gets is when she calls a bit of Shiva's power." ((Shiva is from the FF series))

Donald asked, tapping his foot. "Aw phooey, why not summon Shiva herself?"

"Have you ever met Shiva?" Ryo asked. "You know what? I'm not opening that can o' worms." She sat back in her seat, and boredom once again settled in. Even the random rabbits that sprung out of Andrea's pockets couldn't entertain the group for long.

At long last, Andrea pointed out the window and shouted, "Land ho!"

Ahead was a huge forest world with a waterfall ending in the nothingness below. Andrea's eyes followed the water to the end in the darkness and asked, "Hey, where does all that water go?"

"Shiva's world," replied Ryo. "But like I said before, don't get me started on her.

Goofy stared hard at the world thoughtfully. "Hey, Donald, maybe King Mickey's down there."

Donald shook his head hard. "In a backwater place like that? No way! Let's move on." He headed back over to controls.

"Hold on!" Sora said, stopping the duck. "Riku and Kairi might be down there. Let's check it out."

"Forget it!" Donald cried. "We're on an important mission!"

Sora glared. "Just land!"

"No!"

"Come on!"

"Aw, phooey!" Donald shouted back.

"Who do you think is gonna win?" Ryo whispered. "My money's on the duck."

"I bet Sora," Andrea whispered back.

After a few more minutes of arguing, Sora pushed Donald out of the pilot seat. "We're landing!"

"Don't touch that!" Donald cried. "NO!!"

The ship shook, and a bunch of red lights flashed. Donald dived for the joystick that controlled the ship and steadied everything. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close," Donald said, leaning on the control board.

Something beeped, and Donald looked down and screamed. He'd just hit the "Emergency Crash Landing, Do Not Push Under Any Circumstances" button.

The ship death-spiraled to the ground.

* * *

Next thing Sora knew, he crashed through the roof of an old looking house. He shook his head in his hand. "Owww... My head..." He looked around. "Donald? Goofy? OOF!"

Ryo and Andrea landed on him, wearing parachutes. "Well, that was an adventure," Andrea commented. "Where're the others?"

Sora grunted underneath them. "Found him!" Ryo said, standing up. Andrea got off too.

"How are you both so heavy for being so small?" Then Sora remembered the coat. "Right."

"So where are we?" Andrea asked, looking around.

There was a soft padding sound from upstairs of the tree house, and Sora looked up. A giant wildcat pounced, almost landing directly on top of Sora. Sora dodged, and got ready to fight.

"I'll handle this!" Ryo cried, drawing her staff. "Fl, Uf, Fy! I summon thee!" A wind carrying black and red lights swirled around the tip, making the feathers on the star dance. The bright wind left the star and swirled before her, and then exploded. Fl, Uf, and Fy stood there, howling.

The giant cat hissed, retreating slightly. "Sick 'im," Ryo said darkly.

((The next part is edited for violence. I appologize))**((Ew... Ohh... That's not supposed to bend that way.))**

Fl, Uf, and Fy panted happily as the bright wind engulfed them again and they vanished. The wildcat lay a few feet away, seemingly dead. Being the genius he is, Sora inched closer to make sure that the thing was really dead.

When he was hardly three inches away, the fiend jumped up and knocked Sora back. He then leapt at Sora, who held up his Keyblade as his only defense against the beast.

"Sora!" both Andrea and Ryo cried.

The sound of feet slapping against wood sounded throughout the tree house, and then a man with a spear was between Sora and the wild animal. The man flung the cat away, who jumped out a window, smashing the glass in its rush to leave.

The man turned around, his brown hair dirty and sticking slightly to his face. "Sabor, danger."

Blinking, confused, Sora said, "Um... thank you..."

"Thank you," the man mimicked.

"Huh?" Even more confused, Sora asked, "Uh, what is this place?"

"This place, this place."

Andrea poked Ryo. "Do I speak this version of Neanderthal?" Ryo shrugged in response.

"Okaaay..." Sora said, more in response to Andrea's comment than the man in the loincloth before of him. "Where did the others go?" The man stared at him, making Sora feel a little self-conscious. "Look, I got separated from my friends," he said slowly. "Have you seen them?"

The man tilted his head. "Hmm?"

"Friends..." Sora stressed every sound loudly.

Ryo sighed. "Just because you say it loudly and slowly, it doesn't mean they'll understand what you're saying, you idiot!"

The man mirrored Sora and said as if he understood, "Friends!"

Grinning triumphantly at Ryo, Sora said. "Right! My friends! There's two of 'em. The loud one's Dona—" He stopped. The man tilted his head. Andrea and Ryo raised their eyebrows. "You know what? Never mind," he said, defeated. "I'm looking for my friends, Riku and Kairi."

Ryo grabbed Sora's shoulder, understandingly. "And _**WE'RE**_ looking for our friends, Donald and Goofy." She smiled sweetly and whispered, "I know you're too pig-headed to admit you miss 'em already."

"Look for Riku, friends?" the wild man asked.

"Right," Sora said with a nod.

"Kairi, friends?"

Something caught Sora's eye in the light behind the man. His jaw almost dropped as he saw it was Kairi. "Uhh... right," he said, hardly glancing back at the person he was talking to. Andrea looked at where Sora was transfixed in puzzlement.

Sora's eyes widened as Kairi started walking away. Couldn't she see him?

"Friends here."

Sora snapped back to reality. "Really?!"

The man made a series of strange noises and repeated them as everyone stared at him, perplexed. "Friends here."

"Not sure I understand, but show me! Take to Riku and Kairi!" Sora said, hopefully.

The man gestured at himself. "Tarzan," he said, as if introducing himself. "Tarzan go."

Sora pointed at himself with his thumb. "And I'm Sora. Tarzan go," he pointed at Tarzan, "Sora go go!" he said, copying Tarzan.

"Speaking of going..." Andrea said, pulling the same port-a-potty they'd launched into space from her pocket. ((See the end of Chapter 4, everyone.)) She walked in and shut the door.

Speechless, Sora pointed at the port-a-potty, looked at Ryo, back, and then sighed. "You know what, I'm not even gonna bother asking anymore..."

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in a bamboo grove, Goofy and Donald were lounging on a rock. Well, Donald was; Goofy was sitting, pondering worriedly the fate of their friends.

"Gawrsh, where are we? I sure hope Sora and the others are okay." He looked up absentmindedly at the sky.

"Aw, who needs him?" Donald said, reaching for his staff. "We can find the king without that asshole." He fingered his staff, which suddenly had grown fur. He looked and screamed, as did the gorilla he was just molesting ((Andrea's idea.))

The gorilla ran away, and dropped something colorful as she did so.

The bamboo shuddered, and a hunter in tan appeared.

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Andrea asked, panting.

"No," Ryo replied.

A few seconds passed, and then Andrea asked, "Are we there yet?"

Ryo glared. "We'll be there five minutes after you STOP ASKING ME!!"

"This must be it," Sora commented five minutes after Andrea had shut up. A little bit of duck tape goes a long way.

The camp was crowded with all sorts of British things, like a table with tea, a globe, and books that were spelled with useless _U_s. There was a large tent in the center, which Tarzan made a B-line for.

Sora followed. Inside was a woman fussing over an old-fashioned projector. She didn't notice them enter.

"Jane!" Tarzan called.

The woman jumped three feet. "Don't do that!" she cried. "Tarzan!" She turned, her hands on her hips. She noticed Sora and the others. Andrea was making monkey faces. "Oh, and who are they?"

Sora and Ryo rolled their eyes at Andrea's faces. Sora decided to introduce themselves, while Ryo stopped Andrea's stupidity. "Uh, hi, we're—"

"Oh, so you speak English! So, then, obviously you and these fine young women aren't related to Tarzan..."

"We're debating about this one," Ryo said, ripping the duck tape off of Andrea's face.

Jane laughed. "Are you here to study the gorillas?"

"What's a gorilla?" Andrea whispered to Ryo.

"A bigger and hairier ape than your brother," Ryo replied.

The tent opened again and a tall hunter appeared. "Highly doubtful," he said in response to Jane's question.

"What, my brother's bigger and hairier than a gorilla?" Andrea asked, but Ryo elbowed her. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Sora!" Goofy cried.

"Goofy! Donald!" Sora said. Sora ran up and took Donald's hands to do a little celebratory dance he'd always done with Riku and Kairi. He then glared at Donald, who glared back at him, and they turned away from each other, arms crossed.

"A circus of clowns," the hunter scoffed. "Not much use for hunting gorillas."

Jane stomped her foot. "Mr. Clayton, we're studying them, not hunting them! This is research!"

Donald glanced at Jane. "I'd like to research _**YOU**_ a bit more..." he said, but received a cold look from both Ryo and Andrea.

"Well, the more the merrier," Jane said, obviously not hearing Donald's comment. "Do make yourselves at home."

"Well, anyway..." Sora started.

"I'm staying," Donald said in unison with Sora.

Sora turned. "Huh?" Hadn't Donald not want to stop here?

Goofy grinned. "Sora, look what we found. Look at this," he said, with a goofy laugh. He showed the strange colorful object the monkey had dropped.

"What's that?" Sora asked, inspecting the item.

"A gummi block, stupid," Andrea said.

"It's the same stuff used to build our ship," Goofy finished.

Sora blinked. After a few moments, he pieced together what that meant. "So that means..."

"The king could be here," Donald finished as if Sora was an idiot. He was still mad at Sora, but was trying to get closer to Jane. "So, we've got to work together to look for him. FOR NOW!" he shouted at Sora.

"Fine. I'll let you tag along," Sora replied, just as angrily. "For now!" He turned back to Jane. "So uh, what's with Tarzan?"

"Apparently, Tarzan was raised in the jungle by the gorillas," she explained. "Communicating with him still isn't easy, but he's learning."

"So he was speaking "gorilla" back there," Ryo thought out loud.

Jane hit her hand with the heel of her fist. "Ah, that's right! You're looking for your friends!" she said Sora.

"He said Riku and Kairi are here," Sora replied, "and one word I couldn't understand."

Nodding to the projector, Jane said, "Why don't we try this? We'll show Tarzan some slides," said Jane, "and see if any of them match that word." She turned to it, but stopped, confused. "Oh, what happened to the slides?"

Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Ryo turned to Andrea, who was already digging through her pockets. She pulled a sandwich out of her pocket first and then the slides. "Movie time!" she said, eating the sandwich. "Mmmm... Turkey, cheese, and mayo..."

Jane placed the slides in the projector. The first to come up was a castle.

Sora stared, confused. "What's up?" Ryo asked, munching on some popcorn Andrea had retrieved from her pocket.

Sora blinked. He'd been spacing out while staring at the castle. "What? Um... Nothing," he replied. _This place..._ he thought, looking back at the slide, _it just looks so familiar. But how? I've never been off my island._

After fifty more slides, and a couple naps from Andrea and Ryo, Jane turned to Tarzan. "Well, Tarzan?"

"Where are my friends, Riku and Kairi?" Tarzan shook his head in response to Sora's question. "Hey, I thought—"

"That leaves just one place," Clayton said. Nobody had realized he'd reentered the tent. "Young man, we've been in this jungle for some time now, but we have yet to encounter these friends of yours. I'd wager they're with the gorillas, but Tarzan refuses to take us to them."

"Hidden agenda," Ryo whispered to Andrea, who nodded.

"Really, Ms. Clayton!" Jane said, offended. "Tazan wouldn't hide—"

Clayton rounded on her and Tarzan. "Then take us there! Take us to the gorillas! Go-ril-las," he said slowly and loudly.

Ryo rolled her eyes. "Seriously! Just because you speak loud and slow doesn't mean they'll understand you! What is with you idiots?" Everyone ignored her again.

Tarzan glanced at Sora, and then nodded his head.

"Tarzan..." Jane said, surprised. "Are you sure?"

The ape-man nodded. "Tarzan go see Kerchak."

"Kerchak?"

Clayton scooped up his rifle. "He must be the leader. Perfect! I'll go along as an escort. After all," he said, turning, "the jungle is a dangerous place." Nobody saw his smirk.

* * *

In Hallow Bastion, just before the slideshow had started, Maleficent entered the kitchen, thirsty for a large glass of milk. ((Drink your milk, kiddies, or else you'll be shorter than Andrea!))**((Selena... Kiddies, don't drink your milk! It comes out of a cow's... What's that thing again?))**((An udder?))**((Yeah, those things! Be like Edward Elric and say "No" to dairy!))**((_sigh_)) She opened the fridge, pulled out one of the dozens of milk cartons, and closed the fridge. She then reopened the fridge, realizing something disturbing had occurred in the fridge.

Inside the cold, lit up box was a pickle jar—nothing disturbing about that. No, it was what was sticking out of the pickle jar that scared Maleficent beyond belief.

A hand was sticking out the pickle jar's top, feeling around the fridge. It grabbed Jafar's favorite sandwich—the turkey, cheese, and mayo combination he just adored—and pulled it through into the jar. Maleficent snatched the jar out and stared into its pickly contents. The hand was gone.

She did the one thing that she could of. "JAFAR!!" she screamed and sobbed at the same time, running out of the kitchen."

* * *

**And that, kids, is why you shouldn't drink milk.**

What does that have drinking milk.

**...Absolutely nothing.**

_Rolls eyes_ Well, thank you for reading. Sorry it took so long to finish. We promise it won't take as long next time!

**See ya!**


	9. Unknown Title

**Chapter 9: Unknown Title**

Sorry, we couldn't think of a title for this chapter.

**Just being random. YAY SUGAR!**

* * *

Sora, Donald, Goofy, Ryo, Andrea, Tarzan, and Clayton all left the tent. Sabor launched himself at the easy snack known as Clayton, but as soon as the cat saw Ryo draw her staff, it ran away. Once the thirty second fight was over, everyone arrived in a place covered in vines. There they found enough monkeys to sink a battle ship.

Tarzan started speaking monkey. Andrea pulled out a random monkey-to-human translator. "Kerchak, please listen to me. I know the nesting grounds are secret, but I trust them. You see, I want to help them because...because... well, Jane is too damn hot!" Kerchak didn't respond.

Goofy leaned in and whispered to Donald, "Uh, did you think Jane was hot?"

Donald still watched the events unfold, but he replied curtly, "HELL NO! Her make up made her look queer."

"Kerchak!" Tarzan begged. Kerchak looked away, towards the tree house. "Kerchak..." Tarzan sighed as the gorillas walked away.

Goofy whispered to the group, minus Clayton, who'd seemingly disappeared, "He seemed sorta distracted by somethin."

"Was he looking toward the tree house?" Andrea whispered back.

It didn't take long for the group to reach the tree house from where they had been. They just reached the wooden landing when they noticed Clayton aiming with his rifle. Knowing he was up to something, they all dashed to where Clayton was about to shoot.

Donald screamed like a mad man and grabbed Clayton's rifle when he saw what the hunter was aiming for. A gorilla was spinning a globe, but fled when the bullet Clayton shot narrowly missed him.

"What's the big idea, you big looby?!" Ryo snapped, hands on hips.

Tarzan saw Kerchak with the monkey that had almost became a trophy on Clayton's wall. "Wait, Kerchak. Please!" Kerchak and the gorilla with him left.

"You don't understand!" Clayton tried to explain. "I was only trying to... Ah! A snake slithered by, you see. I saved that poor gorilla's life."

"Saved that gorilla my ass!" Donald shouted.

"Yeah!" Andrea agreed. "The only snake here is the one slithering by Donald's foot."

Donald blinked, looked at the snake, and screamed like a little girl. He dived into Andrea's arms, just as Sora and Ryo jumped into Goofy's. Andrea glared at the duck. "Um... Hello..." Donald said sheepishly. Andrea just dropped him. "Ouch..."

Andrea then picked up the snake and put it into her pocket. Little did she know that ended up in your pocket. Yes, you, the reader. That moving lump in your pocket is the snake. Don't worry, it's not poisonous. Think of it as a thank you from Sora and the gang for reading their misadventures. ((Well, that was random.))**((Why yes it was.))**

Everybody walked back to the camp through the cliff. They saw Sabor cowering in a corner of the cliff, and then Sabor ran away. They reached the tent without any problem.

"How could you do such a thing!" Jane scolded Clayton when she'd learned from Goofy what he'd done.

"Now, Miss Porter, as I told you, I was not aiming at the gorilla," Clayton said, trying to sound sweet.

Andrea started hacking up a lung. "Sorry," she said, when everyone stared at her. "I'm allergic to BS. What? It's a real serious medical condition! See?" She pulled out a certificate that said _Allergic to BS_ on it.

"I forgot about that," Ryo commented. "I'm only allergic to Creeper Plant pollen."((Those are the Heartless plants from KHII and CoM))

Once again, Sora, Donald, and Goofy ignored the girls because they made no sense anyway.

"You are not to go near the gorillas again!" Jane shouted.

"All because of one mishap? Come, now..." Clayton stopped mid-sentence. Everyone was giving him the evilest of glares... Except Sora. He was giving him a puppy dog death stare, much like the ones Roxas of KHII is famous for. Clayton turned and stomped out of the tent, both embarrassed and frustrated. "What am I doing with these imbeciles? Blasted gorillas!" He shook his gun angrily. "I'll hunt down every last one of them! I'll track them down somehow." He pulled out his pipe. "I'll stake my life on it."

There was a rustling sound, and then a gunshot. "Oh no, not again," Donald commented. They rushed out of the tent, half-expecting to see a dead gorilla.

"Heartless!" Sora shouted, seeing a bunch of monkeys surrounding a single gorilla. Andrea pulled out a boatload of bananas from her pocket and tossed them to the Powerwilds, who started happily munching on them. Andrea then allowed Ryo the honors of pushing down the lever on the box, which resulted in the bananas, and thus the Powerwilds, exploding.

"Oh, I do hope Mr. Clayton is safe..." Jane whispered from the safety of the tent's door.

There was yet another gunshot. Sora and friends rushed to the bamboo thicket they heard it from, where they found Clayton's pipe. In Sabor's mouth... with Sabor smoking it...

Donald took off his hat. "Well, that's the end of Clayton... Okay guys, let's leave."

Ryo reached into Andrea's pocket and pulled out a whip. "Bad kitty!" she shouted, snapping the whip. "You shouldn't be smoking! It's bad for you!"

"Gawrsh, you don't even care that it ate Clayton?" Goofy inquired, watching as Ryo continued to whip the ground near Sabor.

"Hell no!" Ryo said, tossing the whip and grabbing a revolver from Andrea's pocket. "He deserved everything he got!" She shot the ground near Sabor, scaring the poor creature. "But he shouldn't be giving a poor kitty lung cancer like this!"

Sabor spit out the pipe and was going to run, when Ryo lassoed the creature. "You're coming with me!" she said, retrieving the bottle of shrinking potion Andrea had stolen from Wonderland. She forced the wildcat to drink the potion, which ended with Sabor turning into a cute adorable little kitten. The kitten glowed, and then disappeared. "Can you say new summon?"

They returned to the tent moments later to give Jane the sad—or possibly happy—news. "Hey, where's Jane?" Sora asked.

Goofy was the one to notice Tarzan's nervous glancing around. "Gawrsh, what's wrong, Tarzan?"

Tarzan looked up. "Something coming. Jane, danger. Jane near..." he thought for a moment, "near tree house."

"Sounds like trouble. Let's go," Andrea said, turning toward the tent flap.

"Hey, when did monkey-boy become psychic?" Donald asked, but still followed everyone anyway.

In the spiral path around a large tree, they found Jane and the gorilla from earlier, who was apparently named Terk. They also found a very large black fruit surrounded by many a Powerwild.

"Hey Sora, dare you to eat that big black fruit there!" Andrea suggested. Sora did, and grew to the size of Godzilla. He stomped on the Heartless, crushing them instantly. He then shrunk down.

"Well, now we know what the growing potion in Wonderland's made of," Ryo commented.

"Drat! Why didn't I eat it?" Andrea complained.

Jane and Terk escaped their prison and hugged Tarzan. "Clayton came to the tent, and... That's the last thing I remember..."

"Clayton?!" Sora repeated, shocked.

"Well, at least he's self-absorbed," Andrea commented with a shrug. "He was probably too busy thinking of a way to skin the monkey than doing anything to you."

Terk made a few monkey noises. Tarzan translated. "Gorillas trapped. Terk ran."

"We must help the gorillas!" Jane cried.

They reached the cliffs without a ton of effort. There, the Heartless had surrounded the gorillas and Clayton was ready to shoot each one.

"No!" Sora shouted.

Clayton looked at Sora, no expression playing across his face.

"No is right," Ryo commented. "He's not dead and in my kitten's tummy!"

"Not Clayton!" Tarzan cried. He made a few monkey noises, the same he'd first said to Sora when they'd met. "Not Clayton!"

The battle started. Randomly, Andrea's cell phone rang. "WAIT!!" Andrea shouted, retrieving her phone from her pocket. Everything stopped, including a Powerwild in midair. The Heartless dropped to the ground with a thud.

Andrea turned on the cell phone. "Hello!" she said brightly. "Hey, Anna. Look, I'm kinda busy. Yeah, fighting Heartless. You know the deal. Yeah, yeah, I'll get you your fricking cookies. Just don't eat my Pocky. If you eat it, no cookies for you. Yeah, yeah, I love you too. See you! Oh! Ryo says hi!" she added when she saw Ryo waving. "Later."

The fight resumed, this time without interruption. The Heartless were all destroyed, and Clayton was surrounded. He stepped back, and the wall blew up. He then lifted into the air as if riding an invisible bicycle.

"Dude! That's so wrong on so many levels..." Andrea commented.

They killed the Stealth Sneak and Clayton easily with their combined effort. Clayton was ready to shoot one last shot right at Tarzan's heart, but the Stealth Sneak Heartless landed right on top of him, killing Clayton instantly. A large heart flew out of the Stealth Sneak, and then vanished.

The FFVII victory music started playing, and Sora declared happily, "Hey! I think I learned Cure!"

"Oh my God, no way!" Andrea said sarcastically, with Ryo rolling her eyes. "O-M-G-W-T-F-B-B-Q."

Kerchak and the gorillas approached from nowhere. Kerchak placed a hand on Sora's shoulder and threw him, Donald, and Goofy into the next area.

Andrea pulled out an escalator. "We can get up there ourselves." Andrea and Ryo rode the escalator up while Tarzan climbed up there himself.

"Tarzan home," Tarzan commented leading the way into the waterfall cavern. There was an area just beyond with a ton of butterflies grouped together. Tarzan made a few gorilla noises.

"This is your home?" Sora asked. "But that means..."

Goofy listened hard. "What's that sound?"

"The waterfalls," Jane said, surprised. "They're echoing all the way here."

Tarzan made a few more gorilla noises. "Friends there. See friends."

"Oh, now I've got it!" Jane said, then repeated the noises, "It means heart. Friends in our hearts."

"Heart," Tarzan repeated.

"Oh, so that's what he meant," Sora muttered, disappointed.

Tarzan nodded. "Friends, same heart. Clayton, lose heart. No heart, no see friends." He nodded to himself, as if it made sense.

Sora turned to Donald. "Sorry about what I said."

"I'm sorry too," Donald said, smiling.

Goofy placed his arms around everyone. "Yeah, all for one, huh?"

The butterflies scattered, revealing a keyhole underneath. Sora used his Keyblade to seal the Keyhole and thus the world from Heartless. An item fell out of the hole.

"A gummi!" Donald said, amazed.

"But it's sure not the king's," Goofy added, disappointed.

Terk then started rubbing against Donald. "I think someone has a new admirer," Jane commented, grinning.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Donald shouted. "The gorilla's not sexy! It's not worth Daisy killing me!"

Everyone laughed. Well, Ryo more guffawed, but they got a Navi-G Piece.

* * *

Meanwhile, in a dark place, the baddies were talking. "What drew the Heartless to that world?" Jafar inquired.

"The hunter lured them there. It was his lust for power that was the bait." Maleficent sniggered. "But it seems the bait was too tasty for his own good."

Oogie Boogie laughed hysterically. "Yeah, he got chomped instead!"

"A weak-hearted fool like him stood no chance against the Heartless," Jafar pointed out. "But the boy is a problem. He found one of the Keyholes!"

"Fear not. It will take him ages to find the rest," Maleficent replied. "Besides, he remains blissfully unaware of our plan." Her face became grave. "Now for more important matters."

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Oogie Boogie shouted. "I'm out of here."

"There is no hand in that pickle jar," Hook said, also leaving.

Jafar put an arm around Maleficent's shoulder. "I believe you. I saw it once. Now about the Princesses..."

"They're falling into our hands, one by one." Alice appeared. Maleficent smirked. "Speaking of which..."

* * *

Back in the tent at the camp, everyone was saying their good-byes.

"Well, we better get going," Sora said, finishing the tea Jane had handed him.

"Where is your ship, anyway?" Jane inquired, taking back the cup and saucer.

Donald choked on his teas. "Well, uh... Not too far."

Tarzan smiled and hugged Sora. "Sora, Tarzan, friends."

The group waved and left. "Well, that was close about the Gummi Ship," Goofy commented as they got on their ship.

Sora nodded. "The gummi block that came out of that glowing hole... It's not like the others. Wonder what it's used for."

"I dunno," Donald admitted, looking at it.

"OH MY GOD!" Ryo shouted. "Donald doesn't know something! Call the newspapers!"

"Aw, shut it. You sound like a chick, anyway," Donald said. Apparently, he still hadn't realized Ryo and Andrea _**WERE**_ chicks.

"Maybe Leon'll know what it's for," Goofy said, trying to nip yet another fight in the bud.

"Hmm... He might. Back to Traverse Town, then?" Donald said, taking the controls.

"I wanna be pilot!" Sora yelled. Everyone groaned. Not again.

"Hey, stop it!"

"Oh, come on! I'm the Keyblade master!"

"I don't care who you are! No!"

The steering stick was being pulled back and forth between the two of them, making the ship shake.

"Here we go again..." Goofy sighed.

* * *

**Happy? We finally updated. Now shut up and wait for the next time.**

Andrea, that's not very nice.

**So...? They should be patient because I live 20, no, more like 10 miles away from you.**

_Sigh_ Anywho, please review. We'll post the next chapter when we can.


	10. The Long Awaited Update

**Chapter 10: Long Awaited Update**

Oh my God... We've finally updated...

**We have returned! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA—**

(Interrupts Andrea's laugh) Anyway, here's the long awaited chapter! Oh, and by the way, I have discovered a bold numbering system works better than in context notes. Please see our stupid comments at the end of the chapter from now on. :-)

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Sora and friends crash-landed in Traverse Town, causing an earthquake that shook the whole world. Once everyone checked to make sure there were no injuries, Donald throttled Sora for destroying the Gummi Ship. It would take them days—no, weeks—to fix that stupid ship.

"Or," Andrea suggested, "we could just use the kick ass one Ryo made because she was bored during the time it took to update this fic." She reached into one of her many pockets and pulled out a giant ship with the biggest engines ever created on the back.

"It goes at hyper-speed," Ryo explained. "Oh, and it's also environmentally friendly, which is important in this day and age. Best of all, it runs on fruit, and there's plenty of that in Andrea's pockets!" They didn't know where the fruit came from. It actually came from The World That Never Was, which they wouldn't know of, since it isn't in the first Kingdom Hearts game.

Anyway, they left the docking area you never get to see and went into the First District. Sora looked around and frowned. "Hey, where's Leon?"

"Gawrsh, maybe he's training in a dark and damp waterway that'd be terrible for your health," said Goofy.

Donald rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Goofy, that's got to be the stupidest thing that's ever come out of your mouth. And a lot of things have come out of there."

"It's not as stupid a thing as you might think," said a scary voice behind them.

The group spun to face a creepy teen in a black cloak.**1** "W-what do you mean?" Sora asked, backing away from the teenager. His mother had told him never to talk to strangers with cat puppets, after all.

"The person you seek, Leon, is in the waterways below the city. I could tell you where they—" Sora and friends were already leaving. "Wait! Don't you want to know where Leon is?"

"You already said the waterway under the city," Ryo pointed out. "What else is there to know?"

The cloaked teen had an anime sweat drop, but he couldn't disagree with their logic. And so the group was on their way once more.

After twenty minutes of fighting the stupid Heartless that dared appear before the group of overpowered fighters, they eventually found the waterway where Leon hung out, but the entrance was blocked with bars. Stupid bars...

"Well, now what?" Donald asked.

Ryo reached into Andrea's pocket and retrieved a stick of dynamite and a box of matches. She lit the dynamite, set it by the bars carefully so the wick wouldn't get wet, and jumped into Andrea's pocket, as did Andrea herself.

The rest of the group wasn't quite so quick. The dynamite exploded, shattering the bars and many of Sora's bones. Donald and Goofy, being cartoon characters, were completely unharmed. Andrea and Ryo, having heard the explosion, got out of the pocket and saw Sora the giant soot ball.

"Not funny!" Sora shouted when they burst into fits of uncontrollable. "You better be able to fix this!"

Donald sighed and used Cure, which somehow fixed Sora's broken bones. Fully healed, everyone went into the waterway.

"Ew, this is gross," Sora said, swimming through the muck in the water.

"Well, if you'd thought about it ahead of time, you could've asked us for help," Ryo said, floating with Andrea above the swimming Sora, Donald, and Goofy. They were wearing sandals with wings that flapped to keep them airborne. "We have extra pairs of flying shoes you could've used."

Andrea raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Are you kidding? His feet are _way_ too big."

Sora, Donald, and Goofy all sighed in frustration, and the search for Leon continued. At least the waterway was pretty straightforward. They reached a bunch of rocks where Leon stood, swinging his Gunblade.

As they approached, Leon turned to them and frowned. "Sora, when was the last time you took a bath?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. "Four weeks ago?"

"Yes, but that's not important right now!" Sora interrupted. "We found something really weird in some other world, and it looked just like a Keyhole!"

Leon seemed a little surprised by this and turned to Aerith. He turned back to them and said, "So you found the Keyhole..."

"That's what he just said, you big palooka!" Donald shouted. Andrea elbowed him hard in the stomach.

"Yeah," Sora replied, ignoring Donald as he always did. "The Keyblade locked it automatically."

Aerith breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."

The duck stared at her, noticing Aerith for the first time. He pretty much ignored the conversation from then on, as there was a female with boobs present.

"Ever world among the stars has a Keyhole. And each one leads to the heart of that world," Leon explained. He crossed his arms and frowned as he always did when thinking. "There must be one in this town as well."

"What do you mean?" Sora asked, confused.

"It was in Ansem's report," Aerith said, shoving Donald away as the drooling duck got too close.

"No, I mean, what do you mean?" Sora asked. "That made absolutely no sense."

Both Andrea and Ryo smacked him in the back of the head. They then dragged him to a corner and gave him a brief remedial lesson on all the English classes he missed in school by daydreaming about Kairi. That finished, they returned to hear the rest of the Gunblade Specialist's explanation.

"The Heartless enter through the Keyhole and do something to the world's core," Leon explained patiently. He, unlike the others, was used to stupid people after spending so much time with Yuffie.**2**

"What happens to the world?" Sora asked, then ducked to avoid injury if the question turned out to be a stupid one.

It wasn't, so he wasn't punished. Aerith answered after sidestepping Donald so the dumb duck fell into the answer water again. "In the end, it disappears."

Everyone, even the spluttering Donald, cried, "WHAT?!"

Leon crossed his arms once more. "That's why your key is so important."

"Please lock the Keyholes," Aerith almost begged. "You're the only one who can!"

Ryo stared at Aerith a moment, then asked Andrea, "Didn't someone say that in _Star Wars_?"

"I think so, Brain," Andrea replied with a nod.

Once again, everyone ignored their strange side conversation. "I don't know..." Sora muttered.

"Seeing other worlds would probably serve you well," Leon reminded him.

"Yeah!" Donald called. "You can go and I'll stay with here with the boobalicious babe." He earned a bonk on the head with Aerith's ultimate weapon from Final Fantasy Seven for that comment.

"We gotta find your friends! And King Mickey!" Goofy, by now, was used to Donald's stupidity and very good at tuning it out. That, or he didn't have enough of a brain to pay attention to it.

"I guess you're right..." Sora said. "Okay!" He turned to go.

"Um, stupid head, did all that hair gel get to your brain?" Ryo asked. "Did you forget about the reason we came here?"

Sora stared blankly at Ryo.

"The Gummi block?"

Again, Sora just stared.

"That came out of the Keyhole?"

Still, Sora stared.

Andrea pulled a giant hammer from her pocket and played Whack-A-Sora until his ADHD was banished for the moment.

After about twenty whacks, realization dawned on Sora. "Oh yeah! Hey, Leon. This Gummi block's different from the others. Do you know what it's for?"

Leon scrutinized it, and then set to pondering the possibilities.

Aerith, seeing that Leon would be too stubborn to say he had no clue, suggested, "Ask Cid. He should know. He's an expert with Gummi ships."

Sora nodded. "Okay. Thanks." They were about to leave, but they were stopped once more. "CAN'T YOU PEOPLE LET US MOVE ON WITH OUR JOURNEY?!"

"Take this with you," Leon said, handing Sora something.

The Keybearer looked at the giant rock in his hand. "What the hell is this?"

"It's a Fire Stone," Leon explained.

"Ooo! Does it give me the spell Firaga?"

Leon gave Sora a strange look. "No. You evolve certain Pokémon with it."

The two stared at each other a moment, and then Sora said, "You know you've got the wrong game, right?"

"Just take it anyway!"

Sora handed it to Andrea for safe keeping (or possibly shooting out the cannons later), and they headed to the Accessory Shop to find Cid. As always, they had to fight impossible amounts of Heartless, and eventually Andrea got so annoyed she just pulled a couple invisibility cloaks from one of her pockets so they could just continue on their way.

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Cid looked up from his copy of Housekeeper's Monthly when the bell over the door rang, signaling a customer. He quickly hid the book when he saw it was Sora and friends. "What d'you need?" he asked gruffly.

Sora held his hand out to Andrea, who retrieved the Gummi block from one of her many pockets.

"What've you got there?" Cid leaned over the counter to get a better look. "Hey! Well, if it ain't a Gummi block."

"Yup," Donald said with a nod.

Goofy, feeling forgotten and left out, asked, "What's this one for?"

Cid slapped his forehead. "You're kiddin' me! You're flyin' a Gummi ship and you don't know nothin' about navigation Gummis?" He sighed and slid his hand down his face in frustration. "Bunch of pinheads," he grumbled, then shouted at the group, "Interspace ain't no playground!"

Ryo rushed up to Cid and took both his hands. "Thank you!" she sobbed. "You're so right! Andrea and I am traveling with a bunch of pinheads!"

Andrea grabbed the back of Ryo's shirt and dragged her away from fellow Gummi ship fanatic.

Sora stomped his feet just like an angry five-year-old. "There's a lot we don't know. So what? We have to use the Gummi ship to go to other worlds. We don't have a choice." He was starting to get really sick of everyone ragging on him all the time.

"Whoa, easy," Cid said, worried about his floor. The way Sora was stomping, there'd soon be giant shoe-shaped canyons in the tile. "I didn't know. No hard feelings, all right?" Now Sora was pouting his adorable pout, so Cid had to do something to calm the brat down. "Well, I guess I could lend y'all a hand, then."

Sora smiled at last. "Thanks."

Cid explained briefly in simple terms what navigation Gummis were and what they did. Ryo, however, already knew all this, and said, "Um, I already have a bunch of navigation Gummis on my ship. I really don't think we need this one." An urchin grin spread across her face. "I'll sell it to you, though."

Cid grinned back. "How much?"

And so the bargaining began. Both were shrewd businesspeople, however, and their negotiating lasted four hours straight. When at last they finished, Ryo was walking away with a full bag of Munny.

"Look, now that you've hosed me," Cid said, "mind doing me a favor?"

"We don't do favors!" Donald snapped.

"I just need you to deliver something," Cid said, frowning.

"What do you need to deliver?" butted in Sora. He was a goody-two-shoes and always willing to help.

"Just this book," Cid replied, pulling an old tome from behind the counter. "It's real old. When the guy brought it in, it was practically falling—"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Donald said, tapping his foot impatiently. "Where do we need to go with the damn thing?"

"The old house past the third district," the man replied. "Look for a big fire sign." He handed the book over to Sora, who then handed it to Andrea for safekeeping.

Just as Andrea was about to pocket it, though, there was a violent shaking.

"W-what was that?" Sora cried. "Did another Gummi ship crash?"

Cid looked out the window and frowned. "The bell at the gizmo shop is ringing... Go check it out if you want, but deliver that book for me... first..." He sighed. They were already gone.

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The group would've gone to check the ringing bell first, but they got lost and ended up in the Third District anyway. As they were already there, they decided to go and deliver the stupid book.

"Aw man! The guy gave Cid a bum address!" Ryo cried as they entered a seemingly empty and abandoned house. "Well, Square Enix always puts treasure in this sort of place, so spread out and search!"

As everyone raided the place, Sora heard something. He turned toward the sound and saw none other than Kairi. He gaped at her as she wandered through the house.

"There's something about this musty place," she said dreamily. "It reminds me of the secret place back home, where we used to scribble on the walls." She knelt down and drew on the wall with a sharpie she'd pulled out of seemingly nowhere. Smiling, she turned to Sora. "Remember?"

Sora rubbed his eyes. "Kairi?"

"Sora?" Goofy said right behind him, making the Keybearer jump. "Why'd you draw a pony on the wall?"

Sora stared at where Kairi once stood. All that remained of her was a pony drawn in black sharpie.

"Well, well... You've arrived sooner than I—"

"Gotta check out a bell!" Donald said, impatiently shoving past the wizard, Merlin. "No time for old ugly fogies like you."

"See you, Merlin! Books on the table!" Andrea and Ryo called as they followed Donald and the others.

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**1** The creepy cloaked dude, if you can't tell with the puppet reference, is Nekozawa from Ouran High School Host Club

**2 Wow, poor Yuffie. **Eh, this is just a character bashing party. **Yeah, true.**

Well, there's our long awaited chapter! Hope you all enjoyed it!

**Happy we updated!**


	11. Reunited

**Chapter 11: Reunited**

...Me thinks Riku appears in this chapter. :3

**Oh God, I hope not...**

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The group left the house and wandered into the Third District. Everything was quiet... too quiet... As they left the alleyway, they soon learned why.

There were a couple Soldier Heartless sitting around a card table playing poker. As they stepped into the main part of the Third District, the Heartless looked up at Sora, then set down their hands of cards.

"Bout that time, eh chap?" muttered the one.

"Cheerio," said the other.

Just as they were about to attack, a certain hot silver-haired guy showed up and killed both Heartless in one swing. Their savior grinned at them, or more at Sora, and said, "There you are. What's going on?"  
Sora just stared at the person. "Riku!" He tugged on Riku's face, as if to make sure the person before him was really real and not a robot. After his delusions about Kairi, there was a distinct possibility that this Riku was a fake as well.

"Hey, hey, cut it out!" the silver-haired pretty boy said, knocking away Sora's hands.

Sora looked him up and down. "I'm not dreaming this time, right?"

Riku gave him a confused look, but before he could answer, Ryo had tackled him. "I hope not," the fangirl said dreamily. "And if you are, don't wake up!"

"Um, Sora? Who the heck is—" But Riku didn't get a chance to finish his question. The girl had knocked him over and was kissing him with fangirl finesse.

Andrea rolled her eyes and turned to Sora. "Hey, wanna go grab a snack or something? Last time Ryo went this star-crazy, it took three hours to pry her off."

"And the last time Riku got a fangirl attachment, it took a crowbar," Sora replied with a sigh. "Okay, food first, then we buy a crowbar."

So Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Andrea left Riku and his current fangirl and went to get some dinner. They went to the café in the First District, and when their food came, a terrible mistake was made. The waitress gave Andrea a triple-chocolate mochachino with whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top. Needless to say, the already hyper crazy became even more hyper.

When they returned to Riku, he was still being hugged and loved by Ryo. Andrea was bouncing off the walls of the Third District as well, and that made it all the harder to pry Ryo of her newly found fandom. It took a good ten minutes, but Sora somehow was able to free Riku from Ryo's glomp attack.

"Now that we aren't being interrupted anymore..." Sora said, giving Ryo and Andrea 'the look'. He decided it was his turn to hug his friend. "Riku!" He stopped just before giving the hug, however, and finally realized what had been off about this whole situation. "Wait a second, where's Kairi?"

Now it was Riku's turn to realize what was wrong. "Isn't she with you?" Sora's sad expression told him everything he needed to know. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure she made it off the island, too." He looked up at the sky and smiled to himself. "We're finally free. Hey, she might even be looking for us now."

As he was talking and making no sense, a Shadow appeared behind Riku. "We'll all be together again soon," Riku continued, not noticing the monster behind him. "Just leave everything to me. I know this—"

Sora smashed the Heartless in one swing, something he wasn't ever able to do before or after. "Leave it to who?" he asked smugly.

Riku was amazed, just as Sora had planned. "Sora, what did you—"

"I've been looking for you and Kairi, too," Sora said, gesturing to the rest of his party, "with their help."

"Who are they?" Riku asked.

Donald, always wanting to be the center of attention, decided to introduce himself first. "Ahem. My name is—"

Sora, on the other hand, didn't think him important enough for an introduction and interrupted him as always. "We visited so many places and worlds, looking for you."

He thought that Riku would be happy, but he couldn't help but feel he was wrong somehow because of Riku's reaction to the news. "Really? Well, what do you know? I never would have guessed."

Goofy was oblivious to the sarcasm and made the fatal mistake of talking. "Oh, and guess what? Sora's the Keyblade master."

Donald rolled his eyes. "Who would've thought it?"

Sora was an easily distracted person and thus forgot entirely about his friend being apparently upset with him. "What's that mean?" he snapped at his feathered friend. He was also so distracted, apparently, that he didn't notice Riku taking the Keyblade from him.

"So, this is a Keyblade?" Riku inspected the sword he'd just stolen.

"Huh?" Sora stupidly looked at his hand. "Hey, give it back!"

Riku jumped back, and Sora tripped over his own two oversized feet. The silver-haired teen took one last look at the blade before tossing it back to Sora. "Catch."

Sora caught the Keyblade, but the weight knocked him back to the ground because he was weak and not muscular like Riku.

"So you're coming with us, right?" Ryo asked dreamily. "We've got the coolest space ship in the universe."

"No, he can't come!" Donald snapped. "I don't want another smelly guy on our ship! Besides, we don't have enough seats!"

Ryo gave Donald a cold look. "Well, we'll just leave you behind, then. You're a rather useless member of this expedition anyway. You're a Disney character. Thus you're expendable."

"Come on, Donald," Sora begged. "He's my friend!"

"And my boyfriend!" Ryo added.

"I don't care!"

Goofy and Andrea watched the argument like one would a tennis match. Then Andrea realized that the reason for the argument, Riku, had disappeared. "Uh, guys? Riku kinda left."

Sora looked up, as did Ryo. "Riku?" He looked around, but it was just as Andrea said. Riku was nowhere to be found. "Nice going," he muttered to Donald. "Oh well. At least he's okay. And who knows? Maybe we'll run into Kairi soon, too."

Ryo shot Sora a pointed look. "Speak for yourself! I want him back, _now_!"

"Oh, come on," Andrea said, grabbing Ryo by the collar and dragging her away.

They went up the stairs and passed a small house that up until recently had been vacant. Now, however, there was a light on inside. Andrea stopped dragging Ryo and gaped at the house.

"Hey! Someone's in our house!" she shouted. She threw open the door, only to find the Final Fantasy gang inside. "What are you guys doing in our house?"

Aerith tilted her head. "_Your_ house? But we bought this house fair and square. We have the deed right here." She held up an official-looking piece of paper.

Andrea reached into her pockets and dug out an identical piece of paper. Both girls scrutinized each other's copy, then cried, "We've been swindled!"

Goofy sighed. "Gawrsh, does it really matter? You're never here anyway."

Ryo nodded in agreement. "Okay, I guess it's fine. We just need this house back after everything's over."

Aerith nodded and the deal was struck.

That out of the way, they moved on to more important matters. Cid asked, "You guys ever hear of Maleficent? I hear she's in town."

Sora stared blankly at Cid. "Who's she?"

"A lady who badly needs a manicure," Ryo said. "She could climb trees with those nails."

Cid slapped his forehead. "A witch, man, she's a witch!"

"She's the reason this town is full of Heartless," Leon added. "Don't take her lightly."

"She's been using the Heartless for years," said Aerith.

Leon leaned back against the wall of the house. "We lost our world, thanks to her."

Cid sighed. "One day, a swarm of Heartless took over our world!"

"Then was nine years ago."

"I got out of that mess and came here with these guys," Cid explained.

"That's awful!" Donald said, trying to scoot closer to Aerith. She noticed, however, and once again bashed him over the head with her ultimate weapon.

"Our ruler was a wise man named Ansem," Leon said. "He dedicated his life to studying the Heartless."

"His report should tell us how to get rid of the Heartless," added Cid.

"Can't be that easy," Ryo muttered to Andrea, who nodded.

"Where's this report?" Sora asked.

All the Final Fantasy characters looked down. "We don't know," said Leon. "It got scattered when our world was destroyed."

"Scattered?" Donald repeated. "But I thought Aerith stuffed her bra with them." Aerith smacked him again. "Then Yuffie does?" Yuffie stabbed him with multiple ninja stars.

Cid rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Maleficent's got most of the pages."

Sora donned a determined expression. "We'll just have to get them from her, then!"

"So, anyway," Aerith said, changing the subject once more. "I've been thinking about the bell in the Second District."

"The one that rang a bit ago?" Sora asked.

Yuffie nodded. "The one above the gizmo shop. There's a legend about it, you know." She fluttered her eyes at Sora.

_Right. Big shoe fetish,_ the Keybearer reminded himself. "What's the legend?"

Everyone looked at each other. They didn't know. They just knew there was a legend. "It's all boarded up," Aerith said. "Nobody can get in there, anyway."

Cid rubbed his nose. "Heck, go check it out. Ring it three times and see if anything happens."

Everyone thanked the ADD Final Fantasy characters, and they proceeded to the Second District. Sora led the way up mass amounts of stairs, through the Gizmo Shop, and up a ladder, where they found the bell's string. Andrea declared that she wanted to ring the bell, and when everyone agreed that she could, started swinging from it.

The bell clanged wildly. One... Two... Three... Sora and friends watched as the fountain on the other side of the District turned. It stopped the third time, and the keyhole appeared. The problem was that Andrea rang the bell a fourth time. The block in the fountain tried to turn once more, but got stuck halfway between the first and the fourth side.

"Andrea, stop! You broke it!" Donald shouted.

Andrea stopped swinging on the bell's rope. "Did not," she said.

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did—"

"Will both of you shut up?" Sora asked. "Let's just got, fix the block, and lock the stupid keyhole."

The group climbed down from the shop's roof and walked the twenty feet to the fountain. Just as they were about to reach the block and fix it, a giant suit of armor appeared.

"Another one of these?" Andrea dug in her pocket and pulled out a bomb. She tossed it into the Guard Armor, and it promptly exploded. "Take that, repeat boss!"

Problem was, it wasn't a repeat. The Guard Armor flipped upside down and became Opposite Armor instead.

Ryo sighed. "You know what?" She reached into Andrea pocket and pulled out an even bigger bomb. "Everyone in the coat!" she shouted when she lit the thing.

Everyone did as she said. A few seconds later, there was no more Opposite Armor. "Good," Sora said, putting his Keyblade away. "Now we've got to fix the keyhole so I can lock it, and we'll be good."

Donald and Goofy ended up being the ones to push the block to the right wall, and then Sora locked it. It was rather simple, so they ended up leaving for the next world.

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Woot. We got the chapter done. Please leave a review. Thank you. :)

**Yes, we have returned again!**


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